Tuesday, March 26

 

Tuesday, March 19

 

Tuesday, February 12

From The Desk Of The Office Manager: Octopus Copier Protocol

by Sam Kemmis

As you all know, our copier is run by an octopus that lives inside it. We've had this copier for over a year, but we are still experiencing USER ERROR. i.e.: You half-wits keep screwing up. I'm attaching an OCTOPUS COPIER PROTOCOL, which I will also post in the copy room. Keep in mind that the octopus CANNOT BE REPLACED, so killing it would effectively destroy this company.

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Tuesday, February 05

From The Desk Of The Office Manager: New Handbook

by Sam Kemmis

I know you have all been anticipating the newest version of the Employee Handbook with bated breath. Unfortunately, the Employee Handbook Re-Writing Sub-Committee chairperson, Ari Knewell, incorrectly booked the conference room using the new Outlook tool (which requires solving several riddles of increasing difficulty) and the 2013 version was pushed back a full week. I would apologize for this delay, but I'm not in the habit of covering for other people's GROSS RIDDLE OVERSIGHT.

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Tuesday, January 22

 

Tuesday, January 15

 

Tuesday, January 08

From The Desk Of The Office Manager: Jainism Promotions

by Sam Kemmis

COMPANY:

Join me in congratulating Senior Manager of Sales Stan Pinkard and Junior Account Executive Jeff Adams on escaping their corporeal prisons this week and migrating their souls to the bodies of senior management. Both employees have abandonded the tormenting mundanity of Saṃsāra (daily life) and ascended to Moksa, the blissful state of the soul. Stan will now occupy a body that will oversee Sales, and Jeff will report directly to the Executive Board as a VP demigod.

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Tuesday, December 18

 

Tuesday, December 11

 

Tuesday, December 04