The Ant and the Air Conditioner
Look, Grasshopper, I'd love to help you out. But where were you when I was buying this air conditioner back in March?
Yeah, yeah, I know, all those snowstorms were in the news, right. Here's the thing about cold weather, though: eventually it ends. Then the weather gets hot. It's happened every year so far, hasn't it?
Honestly, I probably could make some room for you in here. This Sharp Air Conditioner's got more than enough power to keep an anthill cool. Thing is, man, I'm tired of carrying you. I knew it was a mistake to give you that corn last November. I knew how it was gonna turn out. But I did it anyway, and you've been sucking me dry all winter.
Now here I sit in cool, quiet 3-speed comfort while you sweat. I think a little suffering would do you some good. Remind you that there won't always be somebody to- hey, Grasshopper? Grasshopper, you OK? Dude, you OK? Wake up, Grasshopper! Wake up! I'm sorry! I didn't mean - I wasn't - NO! What have I done? My friend only wanted to cool off and now he's dead from the heat! DEAD! Curse you, Sharp Air Conditioner! Curse you for turning me into a monster!