Hey, Steve. Woot here.
So we heard about your resignation as Apple's CEO late yesterday and, we've gotta tell you, we're still a little shaken by it. Not that we didn't see it coming, of course. It's mostly because we really didn't have any jokes prepared for it. Rutledge says we're gonna have to take a pay cut for that little oversight. Looks like we’ll all have to buy the really cheap Ramen for a while. Again.
Look, we know we've had our little differences, Stevie. Sure, we poked fun at you, your products, your company, and your wild, quirky ways A LOT over the years or made mockery of your "Stevenotes" on Twitter. But it was all out of love, buddy. Well, let's say 95% of it was, anyway. So, if you don't mind, we'd like to take a moment to say thanks for all the things you accomplished that turned out pretty cool:
You convinced the music industry to finally start thinking digitally, allowing millions of us the joy of carrying our music collections on our hips.
You took back the black turtleneck back from the beatniks and made it into an icon.
You made it possible for our bosses to shackle us with your pocket-sized electronic leashes that make it nearly impossible to escape work-related communication during our off hours. Okay, so maybe that was Blackberry's fault, but you did it with sass.
You transformed the way CEOs deal with the press.
You may or may not have successfully killed your Ninja Master's assassin during a trip to Japan.
Your company released new iPods and iPhones almost every year, ensuring that we always have a refurbished version to sell on our humble site.
You made tech sexy and sleek, and turned a nation of people who spent most of their youth hiding from bullies in computer labs into uppity elitists who giggle condescendingly when they see someone with an Android device.
Oh, and one more thing...
You were the underdog that dreamt and innovated his way to being top dog. No matter what, no matter how much static you got from tech bloggers, competing companies, or even your own company way back in 1985, you did things your way. It's really no wonder that you were made Chairman of the Board after your announcement yesterday. After all, you've been the Frank Sinatra of Silicon Valley for a long time now. That deserves a respectful tip of the hat in our book.
And here at Woot!, a respectful tip of the hat means embedding a photo montage set to Apple's 1984 theme song "Breaking Through" that we found on the Internet into a blog post.