Woot® : One Day, One Deal™

This week marks a big change for the Woot Podcast: We’re going to video!

That’s right, starting today, the Woot Podcast transmogrifies into a once-weekly moving picture presentation you can watch every Monday from the comfort of your own home, cubicle, university library, or anywhere the Internet is found!

This week’s episode features Mortimer & Monte, but future installments may include more “Real Actual Field Tests,” video versions of “Happy Snacking!” recipes, and occasionally even an on-screen appearance by a member of the Podcast Team. (That’ll be a courageous achievement, considering they’re all significantly handicapped in the looks department.)

We didn’t make this change capriciously. Shoot, for almost five years we’ve produced an audio-only podcast, convinced online video was a passing fad. Then we saw that Keyboard Cat, though, and the writing was on the wall. It said “Intrenet vidz r here 2 stay LOLOL!!!!!”

We’re excited to explore the possibilities of another medium, and we hope you’ll enjoy the Woot Podcast 2.0 every bit as much as you did the original, audio-only version. Unless you hated the original, audio-only podcast with the white-hot intensity of a thousand suns, in which case we hope you’ll enjoy this version slightly better.

We understand change can be painful, so here’s a coping strategy for those seven or eight of you who were sentimentally attached to the way the Woot Podcast used to be: Simply close your eyes during the video and it’ll seem exactly like the old audio version.

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Remember Bdale Garbee’s amazing rocket launch? Last year? He stuffed a gigantic model rocket with Woot monkeys and launched them into the blue?

OK, if you missed that video when it came out, maybe you should watch it now:

It’s inspiring, for one thing. Plus you’ll need it for context. Because see, there’s an exciting new development in the case of the missing six astro-monkeys:

Welcome back, marooned monkeys! That’s two more accounted for, four more to go.

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This is coolioxjulio’s ecology project and she thinks it’s beautiful. We’re inclined to agree. These are some of the dopest rhymes we’ve ever heard on the subject of the food chain. Be warned: For weeks after you hear this song, your head will be prone to infestations of the “hunting and stalking, grazing and browsing” earworm:

We only wish there was some disclaimer to assure us no tubby house cats were harmed in the taping of this video.

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Occasionally people call us soliciting our sponsorship of this event or that. Usually we hate it! Why should we fork over some of our hard-acquired assets just because your organization doesn’t have the wherewithal to fund its own event? Where do you think you are, Soviet Canada? Get a job, you deadbeats!

We don’t even buy Girl Scout Cookies from our coworkers’ kids. (In fact, we feel like our principled refusal to participate in that shakedown is responsible, positive role modeling for the Scout in question, and probably does her more good in the long term than whatever bead-camp weekend her troop was going to have with their cookie proceeds.)

Once in a great while, though, some cause or another strikes us as worthy, and we send them a few Bags of our famous Crap or something.

Then we see video footage like this, and regret it:

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Wootcasts from the Past: Hot, Hot Meat Edition

After four years of our daily podcast, we sure have a lot of episodes in the can. (It’s where we do our best thinking.) Have you noticed how certain themes recur? We have! For example, there are several songs in our ouvre having to do with meat and processed meat products. Wanna hear them? Don’t bother answering that, because we’re posting them either way.

Hot Meat! – This song, from April 25th of 2007, accompanied our sale of a Maverick BBQ thermometer. What a coincidence; we’re selling a Maverick thermometer on Sellout.Woot today, too! Except we heard it now claims never to have called itself “Maverick.”

A Little Chicken Limb – We included this number in our SAVAGE SOUNDS podcast compilation back in February, 2008. Here’s what we said about it then: “September 18, 2007 was Chicken Day on the Woot network, with a 2-pack of SnacDaddy wing plates on woot and our ‘Hot Wings’ tee on shirt.woot. This was the soundtrack that had us all doing the funky farmyard fowl.”

It’s Thanksgiving Day – For a second helping of our paltry poultry poetry set to music, try this song from Thanksgiving Day, 2006. It’ll put you to sleep just like Thanksgiving gobbler! But not because of tryptophan; just because it’s boring.

Saturday: Kebabs at Our Place – Back in November of 2009, we were trying to unload some Fire Wire Stainless Steel Flexible Grilling Skewers just like those for sale on Woot today. This song was supposed to help somehow. Apparently it didn’t.

RE: Lunchmeat Packaging: It’s Impossible To Reseal It – Our podcast from February 13th, 2008 inspired rave reviews! Wooters said: “What a waste of my break from studying!” “Definitely failed to entertain!” “I don’t ever listen to these things. I remember why.” Hey, we get our Google AdSense revenue for the pageview whether you post to say you loved it or post to say you hated it. But it still hurts.

Watchoo Gon’ Serve at the Tailgate? – The date was August 28th, 2008. The item on Woot was a stainless steel convection outdoor cooker. And the podcast team warmed up this toe-tapping tune intended to inspire a craving in our listeners’ bellies for “an entire turkey.” Just listening to it makes you feel like loosening your belt a couple notches, doesn’t it?

Still have more workday to kill? Click here for many, many, many more Wootcasts From the Past!

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After four years of our daily podcast, we sure have a lot of episodes in the can. (It’s where we do our best thinking.) Have you noticed how certain themes recur? We have! For example, we’ve done no fewer than nine ditties about the Great Game of ice hockey. Compiling them in one place like this kind of highlights the podcast team’s partisan streak.

The Hockey Season has Begun – We posted this tune at the beginning of the 2006 season. It’s about how we’re likely to be a little distracted while hockey’s on, but don’t worry—it only lasts from October to June. In July, August and September, we give our full attention to work and family. Note the feeble little “Let’s Go Red Wings” cheer at the end. Listening to these old recordings again, it seems we’ve thrown that into more podcasts than we remembered.

On My Video Hockey Game No One Can Beat Me – A moldy oldie from January of 2006, this song describes how sports can build character even in portly, uncoordinated nerds, and we should know. The only thing is they can’t be real-life sports. They have to be video game versions. Otherwise… well, you know. Our asthma.

Tonight, Let’s Go Red Wings – Remember game six of the 2009 Stanley Cup finals? The Red Wings were up three games to two, and could have won the Cup on the road? Yeah, whatever happened with that? Actually, don’t tell us. Hey, there’s that “Let’s Go Red Wings” chant again.

Buffalo’s Not Going to Go – Ah, the ‘06/’07 Sabres. It’s tough to be the President’s Trophy winner sometimes. We wrote them this sad song after the Senators eliminated them in five games.

One Win For Dallas – It ended up taking six games for the Red Wings to beat the Stars in the 2008 Western Conference championship series. So maybe this should have been called “Two Wins For Dallas,” in retrospect. Again with the “Let’s Go Red Wings” chant.

Remember That Time? In PlayStation Hockey? – It was September, 2006, when we heaved this song into your RSS feed like a fratboy emptying his stomach into a gin bucket. It still sounds just as good today as it did back then, which we don’t mean as a compliment.

How ‘Bout Them Wings? – When the ‘07/’08 finals were over, there was joy and celebration all across the land, or anyway that’s how we remember it. We wrote this song as a tribute to the way an athletic team can unite us all. Which is to say that when our uncle goes on one of his racist tirades, we usually try to change the subject to sports.

Happy Birthday Spectrum – On October 19th, 2007, the Philadelphia Flyers’ first home arena, the Spectrum, turned 40. They weren’t using it anymore, but it still turned 40. The same way President James Garfield will turn 179 this year.

Let’s Go Red Wings – Originally recorded in May, 2008, this is a classic to which you can sing along at any time. It yielded four pages’ worth of comments on the podcast discussion thread! Is that some kind of record?

Wootcast Hockey Collection - All of the above songs in one ZIP file.

There you have it, vintage sounds from the Woot podcast team’s dustiest ol’ backup drives! Ah, this was fun. We should do it again sometime.

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We're sure the Night Guardians for sale today at Kids.Woot were tested for safety. But have they been tested for effectiveness at actually protecting kids from the scary things that lurk in the darkness? Thanks to Woot's Real Actual Field Test team, now they have. Join us in search of... the Minnesota Fink Ape:

Well, that didn't go so well. But we can guarantee that none of the Night Guardians we're selling today have had any contact with Fink Ape scat.

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After four years of our daily podcast, we sure have a lot of episodes in the can. (It’s where we do our best thinking.) Have you noticed how certain themes recur? We have! For example, grab hold of the common thread running through these... uh, "classic" Wootcasts from tax days of yore.

Tax Attacks! - The first time ever we treated the taxation question in song was with this peppy little number from we forget exactly when.

Send In Your Taxes - It was April of 2007 when this irritating ditty first hit the internetwaves. Now here it is again, like a rash that flares up after you think you've beaten it for good.

Taxpayer's Lament - Here's one from April of 2008, shortly before tax day.

Oh, Crap, My Taxes Are Late - This one ran in 2008 after the 15th. It's the second Woot tax-themed podcast to name-check Wesley Snipes, who's apparently a podcast team favorite, having also been the subject of "Wesley Snipes, Don't Let Them Take You to Jail" (which was featured in our Savage Sounds collection, still available for download).

I Tangled with the IRS and the IRS Won - It was April 15th of 2009 when we dropped this steaming load of pungent grooves onto your hard drives. It seems like only yesterday.

Liveblogging Tax Prep - On that same 2009 date, we documented the final few hours of a tax preparation process that went down to the wire. You can still read how it went on our blog, and listen to the accompanying podcast updates too:

Liveblogging Tax Prep, part 1
Liveblogging Tax Prep, part 2
Liveblogging Tax Prep, part 3

There you have it, genuine antique sounds from the Woot podcast vaults! You know what we like best about these Wootcast Roundup posts? The way they refute the occasional comment we get that our podcast has gone downhill. As you can hear, it's always been this dumb.

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After four years of our daily podcast, we sure have a lot of episodes in the can. (It’s where we do our best thinking.) Have you noticed how certain themes recur? We have! For example, here’s our back catalog of April Fool’s Day recordings:

The Woot podcast was already in existence by April of 2006, but the 1st was a Saturday. By the time we came back from the weekend, it was the 3rd, so our podcast didn’t acknowledge the holiday. (We did a song about a universal remote control.) If you want to hear it anyway, you’ll have to dig through the archives yourself. It’s a bizarre and unmusical recording, even by Woot podcast standards!

In 2007, April 1st fell on a Sunday. The next day, Monday the 2nd, we ran a song called “Try To Screw With Me On April 2—I’ll Poke You In The Eye With My Thumb.” This was before the podcast got its own discussion thread! But you can still listen to it on the page for the day’s sale. You have to scroll to the bottom, is all.

On April 1st of 2008, we ran a bogus Woot-Off, consisting of sale after sale (after sale after sale) of the same items all day long: A two-pack of Black & Decker backup batteries. Some of our visitors were PEEVED, seeing it as a betrayal of… I don’t know what, exactly. But they sure let us have it in our forums! Man, you’ve never seen so much baseless outrage. (Well, maybe you have, actually. You’re on the Internet, after all.) I’ll tell you what, though; we sure sold a lot of those dadgum batteries. To accompany the single-item Woot-Off, we re-did the Woot-Off theme.

A year ago, April 1st 2009, we observed “the most tedious and annoying day there is on the Internet” with a peppy little number called “April Fool’s, Ha Ha.” The melody of this ditty, now that we listen to it again, sounds like it was partially lifted from Elvis Presley’s number one hit “Don’t Be Cruel.” Doesn’t it? You be the judge.

And then there’s today’s, the podcast for April 1st, 2010. Boy, you’d think over time we’d get better at making them. You’d be so wrong.

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MEANWHILE, BACK IN THE EMPLOYEE LOUNGE, Mortimer’s got something important to say to his plush primate pal Monte. But every time he’s tried to tell him, the words just came out wrong. This time, he’s come prepared with musical accompaniment. It’s open mic night in the break room.

Hey, if this is the sort of thing you enjoy (it’s possible; there’s no accounting for taste), consider subscribing to our YouTube channel. We dump another movie onto the pile every so often, and subscribers are first to know. Think how much of your workday you’ll waste watching our videos, happy as a dog rolling in excrement! It’ll be great.

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