Woot : One Day, One Deal (SM)

CFO: So as you can see, examining a regression analysis of the factorial ANOVA yields a product-moment correlation coefficient -

CEO: Yeah, yeah, I think we get the idea. People don’t like brown Zunes, even though they have the same 30GB hard drives and wide-screen 3” LCDs as the white and black ones. So how do we turn that steaming pile of brown Zunes into a steaming pile of cash? How do we make America fall in love with brown?

Communications Guy: Having a brainstorm here! Check out this tagline: “What can brown do for -” oh, wait, never mind.

Creative Director: Well, technically they aren’t brown at all. In graphic terms, they’re somewhere between bistre and raw umber. Can we do anything with that?

CFO: No, I think not. Raw umber is one of Crayola’s least profitable crayons.

CEO: Maybe we do a little marketing jujitsu here. People love bulldogs because they’re so ugly. Bags of defective jellybeans sell just as well as the regular ones. And the most valuable stamp in the world is the one with the airplane printed upside down.

Communications Guy: I’m feeling the creativity here! So wrong, it’s right! So bad, it’s good! So gross, it’s not gross! Brown is the new black!

Creative Director: Nope, yellow is the new black this year. Brown isn’t scheduled to be the new black until 2014.

CFO: I guess maybe we could say that you’ll never get your MP3 player mixed up with somebody else’s, because who in their right mind owns a brown MP3 player?

CEO: Not bad, not bad…

Creative Director: And maybe we emphasize the advantages of the product itself, and how the color of the casing doesn’t matter nearly as much as the functionality inside -

Communications Guy: Wait! Stop everything! Mindflash! We wrap the Zune in tinfoil and call it “audio chocolate”. Everybody loves chocolate! Zap! Problem solved! What’s for lunch?

CEO: I was thinking more like, if you’re carrying it in your back pocket, and you, like, have a, you know, personal, uh, accident, then you don’t have to worry about stains -

CFO: Ew!

Creative Director: Do you always have to go too far?

CFO: Crunching the data here, it all points to one piece of marketing strategy as the silver bullet – or brown bullet, if you will – to kill our overstock brown-Zune vampire.

Communications Guy: Hey! Silver bullets kill werewolves! You need a stake through the heart to kill a vampire!

Creative Director: I knew there was a reason we hired you.

CFO: Use whatever metaphor you want. The point is, there’s really only one angle we can take to convince people to set aside their preconceptions and buy brown Zunes.

CEO: A series of eight blog posts about the Zune procurement and distribution process?

Communications Guy: A long-winded, self-indulgent product description full of clumsy, irrelevant jokes?

Creative Director: A site redesign to change the color scheme to brown? Celebrity endorsements? Free puppies? What?

CFO: Sell them cheaper than the black & white ones.

CEO: Hmm. Yeah. Seems like a hopeless gimmick to me. Kind of pathetic, really. But we’re not exactly bursting with ideas, so I guess, yeah, go ahead. What the hell.

CFO: Done!

Communications Guy: Bam! Pow! Boo-yah!

Creative Director: How did we get to be so brilliant?

Warranty: One year

Features:

• 30GB hard drive stores up to 7,500 songs, 25,000 pictures or 100 hours of video (128 Kbps)
• 3” bright color LCD display can be customized with your photos for a personalized appearance
• Resolution 320×240, vertical or horizontal orientation
• Ultracompact player measures just 0.6” thin and weighs 5 oz.
• Supports MP3, WMA and ACC audio formats, displays JPEG image formats plus displays WMV, MPEG-4 and H.264 video formats
• Built-in FM tuner with RBDS broadcast signal support to display artist and track title
• Equalizer for a customized listening experience
• USB 2.0 interface for fast transfer speeds
• Zune-to-Zune sharing allows you to use a built-in 802.11b/g wireless interface to share tracks, homemade recordings, playlists and pictures with other Zune users; received tracks expire after you have listened 3 times or 3 days
• Flag shared tracks you like for easy downloading later with your Zune Pass (subscription required) in the Zune Marketplace
• Up to 14 hours battery life with the built-in lithium-ion battery
• Dimensions: 4.4×2.4×0.6 (HxWxD)
• Weight: 5.6 ounces