Last One Out Turn Off And Then Purchase The Lights
Ohhh! Tough break there, contestant! Let’s look over at the scoreboard here and recap.
Well, you didn’t get the Bag of Crap, you didn’t get unlock the Lightning Round, you missed out on the Wil Wheaton shirt which you won’t be able to get until tomorrow,
and you didn’t manage to set any new Woot-off records. Pretty miserable
performance, huh? But we’re not gonna send you home emptyhanded. Bobby,
tell them what we’ve got.
It’s the Woot.com Home Game! A pair of flashing USB
lights sets the tone in your kitchen, computer room or den! Put them by
your toaster and pretend the toast is the next item that’s just about
to appear! Turn them on at your garage sale so people will know the
offers are for a limited time only! And when you’re ready to get rid of
those people? You’ve got the Screaming Monkey! With desert camouflage
cape, the Screaming Monkey will fly right into the face of danger… and
scream at it! The sound of a million angry Wooters crying out that they
didn’t get what they wanted, distilled into one furry friend. Monkey
and Lights, that’s the Woot.com Home Game! Back to you, Winkie!
Thanks,
Bobby. Sorry, contestant, that things didn’t go your way. But better
luck next time, huh? And that’s all the time we’ve got tonight, until
next time, remember, keep that wallet at the ready because you never
know when it’s coming next! Maybe even… tomorrow! I’m Winkie Dealaday,
goodnight!
Warranty: 90 Day Woot Limited Warranty
Woot Off Lights Features:
- Rotating Woot Off lights with LED bulb
- Can be set 43” apart from each other with 62” long USB cable and stands 3" tall
- Individual on/off switch for each light in case watching two spin at once is just a bit overwhelming
- Stop co-worker interruptions during certain “high productivity” times of ecommerce opportunity analysis
- Stop explaining what you’re doing hitting F5 repeatedly, simply extend arms and slowly bow to woot-off lights in response
- Trick co-workers by turning them on and excitedly hitting F5 on woot.com during non-woot off days
- Purchase monitors with cosmetic defects at a discount, knowing you can cover the damage with included velcro strips
- Stress relief from denied BOC purchase (warning: throw lights at floor or wall, not other people)
- Finally have a use for your portable Black and Decker USB enabled battery in your closet from our April Fools Woot Off
- Practice the bolas throwing technique to take down cattle, great for passing co-workers who walk fast to feign urgency
Screaming Monkey Features:
- Slingshot-like rubber arms
- Professed 50-foot flight range
- Majestic cape features equally majestic Woot logo
- Screams like the souls of the damned roasting over the fires of Hell
