The Play’s The Thing
(Enter GHOST and HAMLET.)
HAMLET
Where wilt thou lead me? speak; I’ll go no further.
GHOST
Mark me.
HAMLET
I will.
GHOST
My hour is almost come,
When I to sulphurous and tormenting flames
Must… hang on, what is that?
HAMLET
A camcorder.
GHOST
Film me not, but lend thy serious hearing
To what I shall unfold.
HAMLET
Dude; I have to vlog this.
GHOST
Rather vlog of revenge, when thou shalt hear.
HAMLET
What?
GHOST
I am thy father’s spirit,
Doom’d for a certain term to walk the night,
And for the day confined to fast in fires,
Till the foul crimes done in- PUT THAT DAMN THING DOWN!
HAMLET
No way! I got this Flip so I could show
The world all the events that I might see
And a ghost might get me linked off Boing Boing!
GHOST
I could a tale unfold whose lightest word
Would harrow up thy soul, freeze thy young blood,
Make thy two eyes, like stars, start from their spheres,
Thy knotted and- how much room give you they?
HAMLET
About 2 gigs, that’s like an hour’s fun.
GHOST
Takes Double A’s?
HAMLET
Yes, and they give you some.
GHOST
Murder most foul, my killer was able;
Hey, that thing come with a TV Cable?
HAMLET
It did.
GHOST
Oh, wow.
HAMLET
So what?
GHOST
I find thee apt;
And duller shouldst thou be than the fat weed
That roots itself in ease on- TURN THAT OFF!
Wouldst thou not chill a bit? Now, Hamlet, hear:
Your Ultra 60, Pure by name and brand,
The flip arm lets you move your little film-
HAMLET
Don’t dismiss my dreams of art, dad.
GHOST
Shut up.
An extra feature: know, thou noble youth,
Direct upload to MySpace, AOL
Or YouTube too.
HAMLET
O my prophetic soul!
GHOST
Ay, that incestuous, that adulterate beast,
The Internet, from whom you seek your fame-
This camcorder will prove a fine device
To film dear Rosencrantz most secretly.
Or maybe, I don’t know, avenge my death.
HAMLET
That first idea, I like that one the best.
GHOST
I have no son.
(GHOST exits)
HAMLET
O all you host of heaven! O earth! what else?
And shall I couple hell? O, fie! Hold, hold, my heart;
For let not yet all this recording start.
First must I find my friends, and gain their trust,
My dearest Uncle, and his dearest men,
And then film them humping their ottoman.
Rest, rest, perturbed spirit! I bring order!
With my refurbished Flip Ultra 60 Camcorder.
Warranty: 90 Days Pure Digital Technology
Authorized for SquareTrade Extended Warranty
Features:
- 2GB flash based camcorder can record up to 60 minutes of video, with out the need for tapes, or SD cards
- Built-in USB arm, acts like a typical USB flash drive, drag and drop
- Simple camorder, shooting video is as easy as taking a picture
- FlipShare built in software that makes it easy to organize, edit and share your videos on YouTube, MySpace, AOL Video, or any other online video service
- Capable of playing back on a TV with the help from a composite cable
- Tripod mount, use any standard tripod for steady video
Specifications:
- LCD Screen: 1.5” (diagonal) Transflective TFT (for bright daylight)
- Video Resolution: 648×480
- Video Sensor: 1/4” VGA CMOS sensor Large 5.6 µm pixels
- Light Sensitivity: Very high sensitivity (>2.0V/lux-sec) with automatic low light detection
- Video Compression: Pure Digital Video Engine 2.0
- Video Frame Rate: 30 frames per second (constant frame rate, progressive scan)
- Average Bitrate: 4.0Mbps (auto-adaptive algorithm)
- Video Format: Advanced Profile MPEG-4 AVI
- White Balance & Exposure: Auto-adaptive white/black balance and exposure
- Optical Lens Type: Fixed Focus (0.8m to infinity)
- Aperture: f/2.4 (fast lens for great results in low-light environments)
- Zoom: Smooth multi-step 2x digital
- Battery Type: 2 AA Batteries (1.5 Volt AA Alkaline, Energizer® e2® Lithium, or 1.2 Volt NiMH rechargeable)
- Battery Life: AA Alkaline – Up to 2 hrs of use, Energizer® e2® Lithium – Up to 5 hrs of use (Battery life may vary depending on batteries and use pattern)
- Camcorder Interface: Easy-press buttons
- Power-up Time: 4 to 7 seconds depending on the amount of recorded content
- Power Saver (Auto Shut-Down): Yes
- Play All Function: Yes
- Pause, FF/Rewind: No
- Set Date/Time: Yes
- Dimensions (HxWxD): 4.17” x 2.16” x 1.25”
- Weight: 5.2oz
- PC Connection: Built-in flip-out USB arm (up to USB 2.0 speed)
- Speaker: Built-in
- Microphone: Built-in, Wide-range
- Tripod Mount: Yes
- Online Sharing: Unlimited private video emails or video greeting cards. Direct Upload to MySpace, YouTube, or AOL
- Video Editing: Video trim – set start and end points. Create movies with multiple video clips – add titles, music and credits
- Still Photo: Snap still photos from video
- Software Update: Automatic and on-demand online updates
Minimum System Requirements for Windows:
- Intel Pentium 4 2.0 GHz
- Windows XP SP2 512MB of RAM
- Vista with 2GB of RAM
- USB port
Minimum System Requirements for Macintosh:
- Power PC G4 1.0 GHz or Intel Core
- 512MB of RAM
- OS X Tiger 10.4 or Leopard 10.5
- USB port
In the box:
- Flip Ultra Video Camcorder
- Soft Case
- TV Cable
- Wrist Strap
- Quickstart Guide
- 2 AA Alkaline Batteries
