Woot : One Day, One Deal (SM)

Gamble A $549 Stamp

Hey, PENCILNECK! Tired of watching the MUSCLE-MEN get all the girls? Nobody wants to go on a date with a bag of BONES!

Wouldn’t it be great if you could bulk up your disgustingly SPINDLY legs and SUNKEN chest into a real “HE-MAN” physique – the kind that women and certain men find IRRESISTIBLE? Don’t you long for the day you start looking like a RUGGED man of action instead of a Somalian FAMINE VICTIM? It makes me sick to even think of you READING this – imagine the effect you have on people who actually SEE you! Wouldn’t you love to go from SCRAWNY to BRAWNY, with the power to PERMANENTLY INJURE the muscleheads who push you around?

Well, keep dreaming. You can’t trade in your DNA cards for a better hand. You’re doomed to your gaunt, emaciated physique, and all the miracle weight-gain shakes in New Jersey won’t change that.

But this HP Pavilion notebook doesn’t care. Even when everyone you know mocks your narrow, flimsy body, it’ll still provide high-powered portable computing. There’s nothing scrawny about its 4GB RAM, but if you want to bulk it up, it’s expandable to 8GB. Equally burly is the huge 320GB hard drive, the 2.0ghz dual-core AMD processor, and the hefty 17” LCD. And with the eSATA and HDMI ports, it's better at making data connections than you are at making love connections. Not that that's saying much.

Make no mistake: this pumped-up desktop replacement isn't one of those shriveled little Netbooks that fit in a lady's purse. Tell the truth, this HP Pavilion notebook could probably beat you up, if it had a violent disposition and external limbs. Fortunately for you, all it wants to do is compute. But you might want to lift a few weights before it arrives at your house. It’s a little on the heavy side.

Warranty: 90 Day HP