The Wailing And Gnashing Of iTeeth
Thousands of years ago, the ancient Mayans developed complex math, the science of astronomy, and an amazingly accurate calendar. Meanwhile one guy at Microsoft forgot all about leap years. It just goes to show you: the past is always better.
Hey, naysayers. You think this Microsoft Zune 30GB Digital Media Player is a waste of money? You think you can still make jokes about that worldwide Zune shutdown? Well, get this through your thick naysaying skull. The next leap year incident, if it even happens, will happen on the final day of 2012. And you know what? No one will even care. Because we all know that the world is going to end ten days before that.
That’s right, naysayers! The thirteenth b’ak’tun comes to a close on December 21st! Worlds will live! Worlds will die! Nothing will ever be the same! And as you ascend into the belly of the bird shaman as he facilitates our planet’s forward motion across the dimensional plane, your Zune will still be working perfectly!
Of course, the fix for that bug is pretty simple anyway. And we can assume it won’t take three more years for Microsoft to create a patch. But even if it does, so what? That’s a long time for you former naysayers to be enjoying thirty gigs of music, pictures and video. And what about the Zune-to-Zune sharing? With one of these in your hands, you’re connected to the web of Zune owners worldwide (assuming they’re all standing in range).
Hey, that’s sort of strange. A world brought together by Zunes? A world where everyone is tied together electronically, enjoying MP3’s, WMAs and ACCs? A world of JPGS and WMVs and MPEG-4s and H.264s? A world with a built-in FM Tuner? A world where anyone can buy a car adapter for a low, low price? What if the next world that the Mayans predicted… is only for the people who own a Zune? Maybe it’s not, maybe nothing will even happen… BUT CAN YOU AFFORD TO TAKE THE CHANCE???
Naysayers, we urge you, don’t say nay to saying nay to saying nay. Buy one of these 30GB Microsoft Zunes. It might be the only thing standing between you and an eternity beside a bunch of angry Aztecs.
Warranty: 1 Year Microsoft
Features:
- 30GB hard drive stores up to 7,500 songs, 25,000 pictures or 100 hours of video (128 Kbps)
- 3” bright color LCD display can be customized with your photos for a personalized appearance
- Resolution 320×240, vertical or horizontal orientation
- Ultracompact player measures just 0.6” thin and weighs 5 oz.
- Supports MP3, WMA and ACC audio formats, displays JPEG image formats plus displays WMV, MPEG-4 and H.264 video formats
- Built-in FM tuner with RBDS broadcast signal support to display artist and track title
- Equalizer for a customized listening experience
- USB 2.0 interface for fast transfer speeds
- Zune-to-Zune sharing allows you to use a built-in 802.11b/g wireless interface to share tracks, homemade recordings, playlists and pictures with other Zune users; received tracks expire after you have listened 3 times or 3 days
- Flag shared tracks you like for easy downloading later with your Zune Pass (subscription required) in the Zune Marketplace
- Up to 14 hours battery life with the built-in lithium-ion battery
- Compatible with Windows only – big surprise
- Firmware version 2.5 (1614); Bootloader 435
- Dimensions: 4.4×2.4×0.6 (HxWxD)
- Weight: 5.6 ounces
In the box:
- Microsoft 30GB Zune Player
- USB Computer Connection Cable
- Zune Earbud Headphones
Click here to download Zune 3.0 Software
