Woot : One Day, One Deal (SM)

"The Pirate Bay has agreed to being purchased by Global Gaming Factory (owner of a network of Internet cafes and gaming centers) for 60 million Swedish Krona or roughly $7.8 million. According to a press release, 'GGF intends to launch new business models that allow compensation to the content providers and copyright owners.'"
-- Engadget

1. New mascot: a wide-eyed lemur voiced by Justin Timberlake
2. DRM limitations require biometrically encoded MP3s audible only to the purchaser
3. Each torrent will include a 4GB "bonus pack" with different versions of Solitaire and a playable demo of "Dinosaur Alphabet Learning"
4. Seeders get points that can be redeemed for novelty pencil erasers or plastic whistles
5. Before you can get any torrents, you have to scroll through several pages of idiotic quizzes taken by "friends" you haven't seen since high school
6. Duke Nukem Forever download will still be stuck at 40%
7. If your subscription lapses, your mind will be wiped of all memory of the songs, movies, and games you "bought"
8. Every user will automatically be friends with "xxRIAACutiexx" and "MPAALuva69"
9. Movie torrents will still be free, but key characters will be digitally replaced by the AFLAC duck
10. Swedish police can get back to dealing with their country's more serious crime problems, like littering
11. That stupid "Ten Free Songs!" flyer that falls out of the morning newspaper will now say "Pirate Bay" instead of "Napster"
12. Big pizza party at the Pirate Bay founders' house