"The Pirate Bay has agreed to being purchased by Global Gaming Factory (owner of a network of Internet cafes and gaming centers) for 60 million Swedish Krona or roughly $7.8 million. According to a press release, 'GGF intends to launch new business models that allow compensation to the content providers and copyright owners.'"
-- Engadget
- New mascot: a wide-eyed lemur voiced by Justin Timberlake
- DRM limitations require biometrically encoded MP3s audible only to the purchaser
- Each torrent will include a 4GB "bonus pack" with different versions of Solitaire and a playable demo of "Dinosaur Alphabet Learning"
- Seeders get points that can be redeemed for novelty pencil erasers or plastic whistles
- Before you can get any torrents, you have to scroll through several pages of idiotic quizzes taken by "friends" you haven't seen since high school
- Duke Nukem Forever download will still be stuck at 40%
- If your subscription lapses, your mind will be wiped of all memory of the songs, movies, and games you "bought"
- Every user will automatically be friends with "xxRIAACutiexx" and "MPAALuva69"
- Movie torrents will still be free, but key characters will be digitally replaced by the AFLAC duck
- Swedish police can get back to dealing with their country's more serious crime problems, like littering
- That stupid "Ten Free Songs!" flyer that falls out of the morning newspaper will now say "Pirate Bay" instead of "Napster"
- Big pizza party at the Pirate Bay founders' house
