Bag O’ Crap XL: Not Actually Extra Large
So hard to keep track of portion sizes these days. Medium used to actually be medium, then it got huge, then everybody got worried about getting fat. So now in some places medium is tiny and in some it’s still huge and we’re getting too old for all t
And don’t even get us started on “Jumbo” and “Mini”. But one portion remains the same, unchanging, immutable, unaffected by current fashions or economic calamity: three craps to one bag. The Golden-Brown Ratio. There’s no way you can know if you’ll emerge from the crush of crap-hounds to seize the exalted bag, but you know just how much crap you’ll find within.
And, of course, you know every piece will be crappy.
THE HOLY CRAP COMMANDMENTS v3.1
I. Thou shalt expect nothing beyond ONE bag of some kind and THREE crappy items.
II. Thou shalt not whine and complain when some people’s crap turns out to be nicer than yours.
III. Thou shalt take a moment to consider whether you might be better off just not buying this crap.
IV. Thou shalt not blame anyone but thyself if thou misseth out because thou hast not updated thy credit-card info.
V. To paraphrase Stephen Stills, shalt thou not get the crap you want, want the crap you get.
