A Bed For All Seasons, Act I
Thomas looked at his king, his friend, his jailer. His Majesty looked sullenly through the bars. From the good side. On which Thomas was not.
“Thomas,” the king sighed. “My friend. My brother. My good right arm! I wish only to get a new mattress that could bear my name. What harm could that bring to your beloved church? Come, sign the paper.”
“Would that I could, your majesty,” replied Thomas. “But, to me, a mattress is more than just a token, to be thrown aside willy-piggledy. A mattress is a sacred covenant, a bond, a promise made between man and high-density supportive base. When you accepted that Queen-sized Memory Foam mattress with a patented ventilation system as yours, you accepted a 2.5 inch four pound top layer with air flow ducts designed to displace warm air to keep the sleeper comfortable as yours for life!”
“Thomas, be reasonable!” sighed the king. “You know I get bored with long sentences like that. Ah, my friend. Do you not remember our childhood? When we were young boys together? When we took that oath and said ‘Priest and king before memory foam bed things’? And look at us now. Squabbling! Squabbling like we were six women with five Sex and the City tickets! Come, Thomas, let us set this aside, and stride forth, together, to show the world that we are inseparable, and that no simple Queen sized mattress can ever tear us apart, no matter how well it can be used with existing box springs or a platform bed. Embrace me, Thomas! Sign the paper and embrace me once again!”
“Oh, sire,” Thomas sighed as he lowered his head between his hands. “I wish nothing else. The love I have for you is a love most pure, and no simple mattress could ever destroy it. But my faith, your majesty. My faith cannot allow you to walk away from any Queen-sized memory foam mattress simply because you want a slightly larger one for sale on sellout.woot today. And so I beg of you, sire. Start again. Learn to cherish how it is resistant to dust mites, sire, cherish how it is anti-microbial and shipped vacuum sealed which means it can take up to 72 hours to expand to its original shape. For what has been ordered can never be torn asunder. And so I beg you, as my lord, my brother, my friend, to understand, and to take my hand as you did in those happy childhood years, to embrace me as I wish to be embraced, but to understand, that I can never, and will never, sign that paper.”
And with that, Thomas lifted his head, waiting to hear the answer of his king. But all he could hear was the echo of His Majesty’s boots as they vanished down the hall. And then a little shout as His Majesty slipped on the wet spot for a second. And then, an extremely nasty swear word. And then, once more, only the boots.
Warranty: Shipping Defects Only; Due to the personal nature of this product, we do not accept returns
Features:
- Patented ventilation system with unparalleled breathability
- Queen-size mattress has open memory foam cell structure that allows cool air to displace warm air
- Memory Foam has 2.5-inch 4-pound top layer with air flow ducts that allow cool air to displace warm air
- Foam support structure features 3-inch core with air flow channels directing cool air throughout the mattress
- High-density supportive base foam is 4.5 inches thick
- Molds to your body and eliminates the uncomfortable pressure points and motion transfer common in most innerspring mattresses
- 10-inch mattress can be used with existing box springs or platform bed
- Meets all flammability standards
- Memory Foam is resistant to dust mites and is naturally antimicrobial
- Queen-size mattress measures 80 inches long x 60 inches wide x 10 inches high
Care Instructions:
- To maximize memory foam expansion; remove from packaging within 72 hours of receipt
- Shipped vacuum sealed and compacted; once received, allow for expansion in a well ventilated area to remove chemical smell associated with compression
- Allow mattress to expand in an open space for full recovery
- Expands to original shape in up to 72 hours
- Due to the nature of Memory Foam, the firmness level of every item is unique. Please be advised that even similar products may produce different firmness results
- Mattress is spot clean only
Additional Photos:
In the box:
- Queen Size Memory Foam Mattress
