WootBot


quality posts: 14 Private Messages WootBot

Staff

Earlier this morning we showed you how Woot is already changing Amazon's corporate culture. Well, as you all expected, Amazon immediately put their foot down and told us to knock it off. Under orders from the very very top, we now have to show the world how Woot.com will no longer be fun. So here's a photo proving our corporate employees must always be dignified and professional while representing the brand.

 

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See what a difference a few Amazon t-shirts can make? We think that, after the jump, you'll appreciate the changes. Starting today, Woot.com is a very serious place.

Nah, we're just jerkin' your chain, they don't care what the heck we do in Dallas. Which is good since, in reality, the day went like this:

 

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For our team of collectors, these limited-edition Amazon box men shirts were a must have. Like hungry wildcats, they tracked the most dangerous game and then took their shirts. Naturally the screams of "Oh, God, why won't it stop?" were covered up by the sound of our printing press, making the shirt.woot offices the best place for our angry staffers to strike.

 

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Clever service agent agingdragqueen tried to end the violence by stealing a few shirts from the bins. Sadly, she quickly learned these Amazon shirts are a rare and wonderful gift. They can't be purchased, they can only be won. So, it was back to grinding the level!

 

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After four hours of beating other staffers into a paste, the mob was sated and stylish. Here you can see the happy satisfied conglomerate of death relaxing with our in-house symbol of corporate glutto- er, that is to say, Amazon's important new investment. Rumor has it the entire deal was just a cover for the acquisition of our Ken Jennings head. You didn't hear it from us, Wall Street!

 

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Of course, fun is fun, but the office is about work! Unruly staffers must be kept in line. That's why every copy of the Woot Managerial Handbook also includes an inflatable ball. All you have to do is lure your staffers into place-

 

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-and then you take 'em down!

 

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Naturally, collapsed staffers are very easy to control. Plus, if you aim right, the fall won't leave any external bruising and that means nobody can complain to HR. See? We haven't changed our philosophy one bit.

Special thanks to Dennis, Aliki, Nathan, Trenia, Kristy and Tom for doing stupid stuff instead of working. And a warm thank you to the folks at Amazon HQ for being so welcoming to our team today, now that the deal's official. It's nice to feel so at home.

 

baest


quality posts: 0 Private Messages baest

I wanna work for you!

LordCurzon


quality posts: 0 Private Messages LordCurzon

Damn, I was after the Ken Jennings head!!!

Teripie


quality posts: 7 Private Messages Teripie
baest wrote:I wanna work for you!



No you don't. I heard that those people in the pictures are part of Woot's "Actor Corps." They pretend to be just regular employees when their jobs really consist of just tweeting, having fun, hanging out in the forums, posing for pictures, and in general, making it appear that Woot is a wonderful place to work.
The "real" workers are enslaved in a dark, un-air conditioned warehouse. There they slave away for 12 hours a day at minimum wage.

Woot knows that their client base is mostly geeks. And Woot knows that most geeks like to spend their money at web sites populated with geek employees. Most web sites that employ geeks are fun loving places that are a joy to work for. But all that fun slows down productivity, so Woot just pretends it's employees are enjoying their work by putting up a false front of those actors having fun.

That's the way I heard it. (Okay, that's what I made, up but it could be true!)

“Anything is a great deal at some price,” Some Rutledge Guy.

bsmith1


quality posts: 72 Private Messages bsmith1

Who knew the woot staff were so camera shy?


Edit: When it's the Flip MinoHD, she should have nothing to worry about.

FrostByte


quality posts: 4 Private Messages FrostByte
Teripie wrote:No you don't. I heard that those people in the pictures are part of Woot's "Actor Corps." They pretend to be just regular employees when their jobs really consist of just tweeting, having fun, hanging out in the forums, posing for pictures, and in general, making it appear that Woot is a wonderful place to work.
The "real" workers are enslaved in a dark, un-air conditioned warehouse. There they slave away for 12 hours a day at minimum wage.

Woot knows that their client base is mostly geeks. And Woot knows that most geeks like to spend their money at web sites populated with geek employees. Most web sites that employ geeks are fun loving places that are a joy to work for. But all that fun slows down productivity, so Woot just pretends it's employees are enjoying their work by putting up a false front of those actors having fun.

That's the way I heard it. (Okay, that's what I made, up but it could be true!)



OK... I want to work for Woot in the "Actor Corps."

Charter Member
Friend of the Official Crappraiser

woot 48 wine 4 shirt 27 sellout 12 kids 20 hh 2 moofi 3 home 3 sport 3 tech 1 pop 4 tools 0 total 127

Slydon


quality posts: 15 Private Messages Slydon

Staff

FrostByte wrote:OK... I want to work for Woot in the "Actor Corps."



It's really the best job we have.

Hi, I'm one of the writers. My powers are limited but I'll do what I can.

sgoman5674


quality posts: 41 Private Messages sgoman5674

Ok can you guys post pics of the other teams? Such as the deals.woot team? I would really like to see who I have to deal with.

Slydon


quality posts: 15 Private Messages Slydon

Staff

sgoman5674 wrote:Ok can you guys post pics of the other teams? Such as the deals.woot team? I would really like to see who I have to deal with.



In fact, I believe the deals.woot team are the ONLY team that has had EVERY team member in a blog post photo at one time or another. So you likely have seen them already.

Hi, I'm one of the writers. My powers are limited but I'll do what I can.

sgoman5674


quality posts: 41 Private Messages sgoman5674
Slydon wrote:In fact, I believe the deals.woot team are the ONLY team that has had EVERY team member in a blog post photo at one time or another. So you likely have seen them already.



Not Faughty. Unless there is a photo before he showed up.

ajnast


quality posts: 1 Private Messages ajnast

I work at Amazon now...does this mean I'm a part-owner of Woot now as well or does it spell my doom somehow? :P

regroeg


quality posts: 0 Private Messages regroeg

So I guess I should ask, how do I win a Amazon box man shirt? Or did I miss something covered elsewhere?


agingdragqueen


quality posts: 84 Private Messages agingdragqueen

Staff

regroeg wrote:So I guess I should ask, how do I win a Amazon box man shirt? Or did I miss something covered elsewhere?



You "win" it by offering a bag full of screaming monkeys in exchange.

Joshbrowning84


quality posts: 0 Private Messages Joshbrowning84

I work for Amazon and i think the Monkey-Rap video about Woot! joining the Amazon team was hilarious!!! I love woot!!

nrarmen


quality posts: 5 Private Messages nrarmen
agingdragqueen wrote:You "win" it by offering a bag full of screaming monkeys in exchange.



Looks like I'm dropping out of school to work at the zoo for a while. Then again, you only said offering...

thechumslick


quality posts: 1 Private Messages thechumslick

Can I be a jerk for a moment, and interrupt all the fun...

I think a lot of us would like a statement about the Amazon subsidiary thing affecting the sales tax addition.

Thanks.

nech


quality posts: 1 Private Messages nech

Come on woot, there's only one white male in that picture and you call that your top executive pool? Nice try, but I ain't buying it.

Slydon


quality posts: 15 Private Messages Slydon

Staff

nech wrote:Come on woot, there's only one white male in that picture and you call that your top executive pool?



DID we call that our top executive pool?

Hi, I'm one of the writers. My powers are limited but I'll do what I can.

LarryLars


quality posts: 50 Private Messages LarryLars
WootBot wrote:
Of course, fun is fun, but the office is about work! Unruly staffers must be kept in line. That's why every copy of the Woot Managerial Handbook also includes an inflatable ball. All you have to do is lure your staffers into place-
-and then you take 'em down!



This reminds me of Rover from The Prisoner. Are you sure you want to work there?



!

Have you checked your Private Messages lately?

jennyland


quality posts: 7 Private Messages jennyland

It's good to see the story that goes with the pictures, agingdragqueen!

148 and counting: 64 Woots (inc. 8 Bundles of Clones), 25 Wines, 15 Shirts, 7 Sellouts, 32 Kids, 5 Homes
May the Crap be ever in your favor.

Kiden


quality posts: 0 Private Messages Kiden

aw, man. i boycott amazon, the discriminating bastards, that means i can't buy from woot anymore. you just ruined my whole year, seriously.

taihlo


quality posts: 0 Private Messages taihlo

As a long time Wooter I can already see how Amazon is ruining your site. They have you charging sales tax in NY state. NY tried to get all vendors to do this years ago, and now Amazon is the only one that believed them after reading the actual laws behind it. Maybe some flying monkeys can replace Amazon's legal department and fix two web vendors with one cackle...