Well, round 1 of March Angriness just wrapped up. There were blow outs. There were close ones. There were upsets. Basically, it was everything we could have hoped for.
Now, we move on to Round 2 match ups (Etiquette and Poltics tomorrow; Technology/Internet and Pop Culture on Thursday; each one will only be open for voting for 24 hours) but first, we thought we'd let you have a look at the current standings:
- Forum trolls
- New iThing announced the day after the returns window closes
Guess what?! FACEBOOK LOOKS DIFFERENT NOW! (eliminated by seed #14- UPSET!)
99% of Torrent, no seeds (eliminated by seed #13 - UPSET BY 3 VOTES!)
- "Your internet service will cost $3/month for the first five months, $46/month for the next three months, and then just $2,129/month from thereon out!"
- Your Apple product breaks; fanboys unable to believe Apple is at fault
- They said they'd be here to set-up my service between 9 and noon. They showed up at 2:30.
- I'm not great at this shooter, and I just accidentally stumbled into a room of experts. Ugh!
Some dumb noob just stumbled into our room, and he ended up on my team. Ugh! (eliminated by seed #8)
How texting and tweeting are destroying the way we communicate (eliminated by seed #7)
The CGI zombies in this movie look like crap (eliminated by seed #6)
"You just lost a follower" tweets (eliminated by seed #5)
- Your mom's on the phone. She needs help with the computer again.
- Smarmy old guys making statements about how texting and tweeting are destroying the way we communicate
Seriously, it should not be this hard to find a cheap digital camera with a viewfinder! (eliminated by seed #2)
EA's Origin Software (eliminated by seed #1)
- Pundits/political talk shows
- "I get all my news from this sketchy, Angel-fire-looking site catering specifically to people of my political stance."
- "That doesn't fit with how I look at things, so it's probably just made up."
- "You should get your news from a real source like Fox or CNN before watching the Daily Show!"
People who think the Onion is real (eliminated by seed #12 - UPSET!)
Political figure makes terrible, derogatory statement about a group of people, followed by, "No, you guys, some of my BEST FRIENDS are from that group of people." (eliminated by seed #11 - UPSET!)
- Girl/guy you're flirting with at a party turns out to be extremist psychopath
"I spent a few hours making this meme just to show you how little your efforts matter." (eliminated by seed #9 - UPSET!)
- "I SPEND ALL MY TIME LOOKING FOR THINGS THAT WILL OFFEND ME!"
When the opinions flare up at Thanksgiving (eliminated by seed #7)
- Those stories candidates tell during debates that go, "I was in Ohio/Michigan last month, where I met a man/woman, whose situation conveniently exemplifies why my policy works best."
- Headline with words like "Scandal" and "disgrace"; article is about very minor issue
The phrase "my tax dollars" (eliminated by seed #4)
"The other side's done the same/worse, which makes what my side did totally excusable!" (eliminated by seed #3)
The blunt, punch-in-the-face symbolism in political cartoons (eliminated by seed #2)
People who don't vote (eliminated by seed #1)
- People who don't tip
- Guy in the traffic jam laying on his horn
- Boss giving you vital work to do at 4:45 on Friday
- Unapologetic owners of evil dogs/cats
- "I'm going to talk loudly on my cell phone this whole bus ride!"
The person who corrects everyone's grammar (eliminated by seed #11 - UPSET!)
- "Look, I didn't bring my four kids to this coffee shop because I wanted to supervise them, okay?"
- The guy who never uses his blinker
The guy who leaves his blinker on (eliminated by seed #8)
"And this is when I not-so-tactfully bring the conversation back to me." (eliminated by seed #7)
- Person who gets the last cup of coffee in the break room and doesn't make more
People who take the elevator to the second floor (eliminated by seed #5)
"I'm the stranger that stops you when you're out walking so I can talk to your dog in my baby voice." (eliminated by seed #4)
Your friend will NOT stop talking about inappropriate things in this crowded restaurant (eliminated by seed #3)
Check-writer in the grocery store express lane (eliminated by seed #2)
People who don't thank you for holding the door (eliminated by seed #1)
Gritty comic book reboots (eliminated by seed #15 - UPSET!)
The Transformers movies (eliminated by seed #14 - UPSET!)
Pitchfork (eliminated by seed #13 - UPSET!)
Rednecksploitation reality TV (eliminated by seed #12 - UPSET!)
- "Nobody's made any good music since year X, and I should know! I listen to the radio!"
The fact that Tucker Max even exists, let alone is famous (eliminated by seed #10 - UPSET!)
- Crappy film adaptation of your favorite book
"Book was better" purists (eliminated by seed 8)
- Interview with your favorite musician reveals he's a pretentious moron
The portrayal of women in romantic comedies (eliminated by seed #6)
- "I'm posting this status to let everyone know that I care less about that movie/show/sporting event than anyone else."
- Commercials where people do the Cabbage Patch
- Posthumous commercialization of Dr. Seuss
- "I like all music, except for country/rap."
Is that your favorite celebrity's voice in a Kia commercial?? (eliminated by seed #1)
So, there they are! Who will move on to the Sweet 16? You decide!
Photo by flickr user, bottled_void used under a Creative Commons License.