PemberDucky


quality posts: 41 Private Messages PemberDucky

Staff

Summer unofficially begins this month, bringing with it the cinematic onslaught of robots, romance, explosions and giant bats. Sounds like another day at the office to us! So we figure it’s the perfect time to bring Woot to the silver screen, but we need your creative juices* to make some movie magic. That’s right: We’re pulling you back in for one last job.

Build a summer blockbuster around your favorite Woot item. Rise of the Roombas? Battlezune? Whatever you want us to greenlight, pitch us the plot in 200 words or fewer. Tell us the title. Give it a tagline. Throw in a hastily-chopped poster, if you’re feeling frisky. Inky and I will select the best blockbuster ideas based on creative merit…just like real studio execs!

You’ve got ‘til the end of the Woot-Off, so get started, kid. We’re gonna make you a star!

PLEASE TO NOTE: We're happy to accept multiple submissions.





*Figuratively. Only figuratively.


Quality Posts



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capguncowboy


quality posts: 15 Private Messages capguncowboy

Leakfrogs Driving Roombas

The Leakfrogs have risen from the dank, damp, mildew covered depths and are forming an allegiance: To destroy all humans. Their years of lying in wait is over and their computer programming courses have begun to pay off as they've reprogrammed the world's Roombas and are on their way to suck your brains!

lichme


quality posts: 2687 Private Messages lichme

I call shotgun on Dyson!

inkycatz


quality posts: 105 Private Messages inkycatz
lichme wrote:I call shotgun on Dyson!



The fan or the vacuum?

I'm just hanging out, really.

conanthelibrarian


quality posts: 3157 Private Messages conanthelibrarian

The Roku Games

The Roku Games are an annual event in which one boy and one girl aged 12 to 18 are selected by lottery to compete in a Internet battle, streamed by the mighty Roku, until only one person is left.

Anorion


quality posts: 35 Private Messages Anorion

Drowning in Garbage - the Story of Woot.com. About a very young Matt Rutledge who wakes up in the middle of a huge warehouse of unclaimed freight with no memory and only a webserver to keep him company. He fiddles around for a few weeks, trying to get the thing to work, and slowly goes insane. Later, after months of trying to negotiate a cease-fire between warring clans of things like Roombas and Dyson vacuums, he decides to hold all parties involved hostage and demands their firstborn children each year, which he sells, one family per day, every day on Woot.

Certified Linux Chemist Guy.
If I hated Apple products any more than I do, I'd be on lists.

OldMatador


quality posts: 13 Private Messages OldMatador

How Famous Maker Monitors Get Their Copyrighted Name Back

The life of a monitor can be cruel sometimes. Once proudly adorned with branding, only to lose it during the Great Refurbishment. In this tale of loss and redemption, watch as a monitor stripped of their branding fights for their identity, coming out changed for the better.

grimskull89


quality posts: 11 Private Messages grimskull89

Do we just post them in this thread?

Edit

I'll take that as a yes...?

Tygerdave


quality posts: 1 Private Messages Tygerdave

Roombabots: The Rise Of The Dysepticons
The battle for a cleaner planet just got dirty

After years of peace and ecological renewal under the Roombabots' partnership with the human race a mad scientist decided he could build a better giant cleaning robot. Now the Dysepticons and their cyclonic powers seek to overthrow the Roombabots and they don't care if they make a mess in the process. Coming Summer 2012



Image from: http://www.mommygoggles.com/dyson-dc25-transforms-into-robot/

lichme


quality posts: 2687 Private Messages lichme
inkycatz wrote:The fan or the vacuum?



Vacuum, although it seems that it would be to predictable and overused, so I may need to re-evaluate.

capguncowboy


quality posts: 15 Private Messages capguncowboy
capguncowboy wrote:Leakfrogs Driving Roombas

The Leakfrogs have risen from the dank, damp, mildew covered depths and are forming an allegiance: To destroy all humans. Their years of lying in wait is over and their computer programming courses have begun to pay off as they've reprogrammed the world's Roombas and are on their way to suck your brains!



http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/88/wootsantazq4.jpg/sr=1

I didn't create this image. I found it just a few seconds ago. Great find if I do say so myself

grimskull89


quality posts: 11 Private Messages grimskull89

Title – Reboot
Tagline – There Is No Reset Button


In a world where electronics serve people in everyday tasks, no one suspected the uprising of the electronic devices. We buy them every day, we use them every day, and little did we know that they were watching and learning. Just quietly waiting for the day when they could turn the tide against us, in masses. You know that HP keyboard that came with your HP computer you bought from Woot? Did you know it’s keeping tabs on everything you type, and is buying things with your information and stockpiling for the day when all hell breaks loose? How about the TomTom GPS you keep in your car at all times? Did you know it’s outputting your signal to satellites and communicating with other GPS and plans on running another motorist’s car into your blind spot?

Someday soon the role of servitude will be switched and life as we know it will be rebooted as us being subservient to our mechanical overlords.

PemberDucky


quality posts: 41 Private Messages PemberDucky

Staff

lichme wrote:Vacuum, although it seems that it would be to predictable and overused, so I may need to re-evaluate.



Predictable and overused?? That's what summer movies are all about!


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Not sure if you should post that? This slightly-nsfw-flowchart will help.

inkycatz


quality posts: 105 Private Messages inkycatz
PemberDucky wrote:Predictable and overused?? That's what summer movies are all about!



This thread is making me hungry for popcorn.

I'm just hanging out, really.

conanthelibrarian


quality posts: 3157 Private Messages conanthelibrarian

Neato and The Roombas: Rugwrecked!-

During a cruise of the house, for a family vacation, Neato and The Roombas turn the house into their personal playground causing trouble and running amok as they will. Out of nowhere comes an evil area rug with only one goal, to get Neato and The Roombas stuck in it's Berber loops! All is lost till a Friendly Virtual Wall comes and leads them all to safety.

capguncowboy


quality posts: 15 Private Messages capguncowboy

I need to get this kid to read my plot. Then everyone would want to see it:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=5exPIHtmsmI

smagmus


quality posts: 0 Private Messages smagmus

Woot-Off the Movie
a bunch of has been sales men try to convince people to buy the leftover junk nobody wants!!! Featuring a flaming Bag O Crap periodically for slap stick shenanigans and ending with the dry humor of Mortimer and Monte hitting f5 until they wake up from their nightmare..instant classic!

grimskull89


quality posts: 11 Private Messages grimskull89
capguncowboy wrote:I need to get this kid to read my plot. Then everyone would want to see it:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=5exPIHtmsmI



Pfft knock-off...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7QPMvj_xejg&feature=related

Though, unfortunately Don LaFontaine died 2008 :/

joshaw


quality posts: 24 Private Messages joshaw

Hmm, with Avengers being such a big hit, I propose we have a comic book styled movie based off of the characters from the woot wines.

Dr. Humbug - The maniacal pest, Dr. Humbug has vowed to obliterate all happiness from the earth. His plan is simple: create an everlasting hangover powder inserted into his tasty juice sold at a great price.

Polyphemus - The giant right-hand eye of Dr. Humbug, he is in charge of producing the juice. It is said that he can crush enough grapes to make 1000 barrels of wine in 15 minutes. His weakness is that he can consume the same amount in 16 minutes. And sheep, for some reason he likes to tend sheep.

The Monkeys - The creations of Dr. Humbug, the monkeys do what monkeys do: create chaos, fling poo, create chaos, and fling poo. With the first generation of Monkeys being wiped out during the battle of Rinfrescante, Dr. Humbug set out to create a more chaotic poo-flinging set of Monkeys. Somewhere along the line he didn't add enough acid, and ended up with a flabby 2nd set of monkeys with half the range. Good thing there are twice as many...

The AssAssin - Combining his super jaw strength and his uncanny ability to buy decent, adequate gifts for everyone, the AssAssin has sworn to protect the universe from the evils of Dr. Humbug. He is immune to the hangover powder and has been known to break bottles with his bare teeth. His stubbornness is a strength at times as well as a weakness.

Toothstejnn - The Nordic warrior strikes fear into all that see him. Well, the people that see his incredibly disgusting, precursory English, blackish-purple chops, that is. With his huge biceps and his nightmarish corkscrew, he can easily dispose of most any bottle of Dr. Humbug's juice that is thrown his way. He is a loner ala Punisher, but mostly because people can't stand to be around that pie-hole of his.

Well, that was fun, but unfortunately for me (and maybe fortunately for you) that is all the time I have for now...

Edit: Oops, totally missed the 200 words or less requirement. Sorry.

sellbuyer92


quality posts: 35 Private Messages sellbuyer92

Rise of the Rokus

"Danger never streamed so fast"

The evil scientist Dr.Inky uses the website Woot.com to distribute his altered Roku XD and Roku boxes. These Rokus have been altered so that they do not work and in fact, have been turned into bombs. Duckman only has hours to find Dr.Inky's HQ and disable the transmitter before some of the United States of America is minorly blasted. The only thing that can get in Duckman's way is his past.


Nemesis: Stryper2000 He stole my Big Ole Carrot

inkycatz


quality posts: 105 Private Messages inkycatz
joshaw wrote:Hmm, with Avengers being such a big hit, I propose we have a comic book styled movie based off of the characters from the woot wines..

Edit: Oops, totally missed the 200 words or less requirement. Sorry.



You should tell us what these awesome characters will be doing.

I'm just hanging out, really.

caffeine_dude


quality posts: 13 Private Messages caffeine_dude

[dramatic movie announcer voice]

Thousands of years ago the warning came out of no ware. Beep Beep Beep.
Was this a sign? Maybe but all but one brave man ignored, the warning. One man took heed of the early flood warning and started to build a giant boat.
In The Movie of Biblical Proportions:
In their greatest rolls ever:
Steve Buscemi as leak frog.
Seth Rogen as Moses.

In:

Moses the Origin
[/dramatic movie announcer voice]

Please don't delete this post, I am trying, honest!

lichme


quality posts: 2687 Private Messages lichme


Deadly Dreamer


While out camping in a remote forest, a group of kids wake up hungover to a horrific scene when they discover that their friend is dead. Swallowed by his sleeping bag, all that remained of the kid was melted flesh and bones. Little did they know, the sleeping bag was a deadly cocoon. This cocoon didn't spawn a beautiful butterfly, but it gave birth to something much worse that was. A nasty creature that could consume your flesh before your body hit the ground. With no body around and no cell phone reception to call for help, will the kids be able to make it out alive, or will they fall victim to the deadly beast before it is too late?

Lurker256


quality posts: 0 Private Messages Lurker256

joshaw


quality posts: 24 Private Messages joshaw

THE PREMIER CRU

"War has started and we are hopelessly outclasséd."

The evil Dr. Humbug plots to turn all of creation into the living dead. Through a specially crafted yeast that has the power to inundate mankind with an infinite hangover, he looks to devastate the Earth and destroy all happiness. With his ability to easily and cheaply source grapes from the Grand Cru region, his legions of Monkeys and Walking Dead, and his production capabilities through the giant Cyclops Polyphemus, Dr. Humbug is the most formidable opponent the world has ever faced.
Will our heros, the AssAssin, Toothsteinn, D’ontspille, Triacipedis, the Albino Rhino, and the Green F-Bomb Fairy combine their biodynamic powers and stop him? Can they wipe out the mutated and non-endogenous yeast strain? Can they restore the Eau de Vie? Is it too late? To have any chance they must form the most powerful wine classé ever, The Premier Cru!

Tiamat114


quality posts: 48 Private Messages Tiamat114

SOG: Blood Money

Dave had everything in his life going for him. He had a decent job, a loving wife, and a wonderful son. He also was an avid hunter, and enjoyed adding to his SOG knife collection from the Manly Men's Shopping Network. It was an impressive collection, but never just for show. Dave knew how to use them. Little did Dave know his innocent hobby would clash with fate and rip everything from him.

Manly Man Inc was really owned by a drug smuggling cartel, who used the network as a front to ship "select" merchandise to very special buyers. The cartel had just developed it's most potent drug ever, "Devil's Breath", a drug so powerful that just one puff into the face of the face of the victim and they become fully open to suggestion while remaining conscious and unable to resist for 72 hours.

The only sample of the drug was supposed to go to the cartel leader Vlaine, but the shipping labels got switched and now he's furious. Now the cartel has Dave's family and it's up to him and his trusty SOG knives to get a refund before its too late and they pay with their lives.

Lurker256


quality posts: 0 Private Messages Lurker256

from woot contest 104, iron man guest starring woot wine:

PemberDucky


quality posts: 41 Private Messages PemberDucky

Staff

Lurker256 wrote: squibble.



long time, no lurk.


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Not sure if you should post that? This slightly-nsfw-flowchart will help.

AZGman


quality posts: 3 Private Messages AZGman

Wow! A whole new cult in here!!

Grumpy 'til the day I die.

Josephus


quality posts: 25 Private Messages Josephus

June 2007:

SkekTek


quality posts: 17 Private Messages SkekTek

A social experiment gone wrong
Genetic modification has resulted in super-strong, super agile animals
They're taking over society.
They're getting into every corner of the country.

You can't run...

You can't hide...

You can't even bribe them with bananas...

It's...

THE RISE OF THE PLANET OF THE WOOTMONKEYS.

Oh, lord, THEY CAN FLY NOW!!!! AIIIEIEIEEIIEEE

w00tgurl


quality posts: 26 Private Messages w00tgurl

Opening Scene: a perplexed woman wearing a trench coat and concentration on her face is on a boat and disembarks on an island where the only building is a mental institution. There, she's told of a daily contest called WOOT CLUE. everyday she plays along with the patients, starting with 1 clue and then another until one of the participants can guess the item up for grabs in the hospital commissary.

Her mission: find the evil Dr. Jack McGrumpScrooger who has set a deadline for the final few games before he pulls the plug completely on WOOT CLUE.
She's in a race against time to bring back the game before all the mental patients slowly die off, one by one from withdrawal symptoms initiated by Dr. McGrumpScrooger.

But was it all in her mind?

Cat & Duck's Investigative Assistant
LONG LIVE WOOT CLUE 2012! r.i.p. you are miseed

DaveInSoCal


quality posts: 17 Private Messages DaveInSoCal

Maximum Roombadrive

Opening scene: A freak and unusual electrical storm leaves people scared, huddling in the dark. Panning out, a small light near the floor blinks green.

Next morning a man walks outside to get his morning paper. He turns around to go back into the house and we see the family roomba cross the entranceway. He steps inside, closes the door and we hear whirring followed by screams.

The remainder of the movie involves the discovery that all the roombas have awoken with minds of their own and are "cleaning up" humanity. A small band of human survivors fight back along with their faithful cats (dogs are afraid of vacuums), and discover that only cat-hairballs can clog the roombas enough to defeat them.

They learn that the roombas have made the woot warehouse their main headquarters (it had the largest concentration of roombas) and thats where they attacked.

The roombas were ultimately defeated with the help of a sole Neato renegade, and a filthy peace was restored to the land.

The End (or is it???)


notanaardvark


quality posts: 4 Private Messages notanaardvark

The Brave little B O C

A tale of renewal and caped Refurbies

Once proud and beautiful, an abused and neglected trio of electronics is relegated to a bag of crap. The Tablet, the Dyson, and the Roku set out to find a new Master Geek to refurb and love them. They encounter many characters as Smart Post transports them on an adventurous and meandering path to their new, shining future.

Linad


quality posts: 20 Private Messages Linad

I forgot about these contests! Haven't participated in one in YEARS! Get ready for a come back!

mdrcoast


quality posts: 11 Private Messages mdrcoast

Hobo With a Dyson Catalog

When the crap hits the Air Multiplier [Don't call it a fan!) This drifter cleans up the town with his trusty Dyson DC25 Upright Ball Vacuum. When the town goes dirty, this hobo gets a Dyson!

Linad


quality posts: 20 Private Messages Linad

Battlecrap
The battle for crap begins at woot

In a world where crap is scarce comes an epic battle. A battle of the highest stakes where only the true warriors of the F5 kingdom will survive. Few will score, many will break their fingers trying. Some say their victory was not worth the fight, while others will climb to the top and shout with honor for having the chance to participate. This May, find out who will become victorious.




Source: http://www.comingsoon.net/gallery/55643/Battleship_12.jpg

drizzo4shizzo


quality posts: 3 Private Messages drizzo4shizzo

A million dollars isn't cool. A billion dollars isn't cool. 100 billion dollars IPO isn't cool. Want to know what's cool? An army. A loyal, bloodthirsty and ruthless army at your total command. And do it all by creating an unsatiable demand... for NOTHING.

Camera pans...

legions of hipster zombie orcs mindlessly mash F5 on their fruit adorned laptops clamoring for the ultimate ironic icon of consumerism... other people's garbage... emblazoned with the infamous moniker "Bundles of Clones - one bag to bind them.

At every near miss, bitter bile builds. Devastated dejection, server crashes fuel the dark lord Woot's powers of insatiability and lost productivity...

potter412


quality posts: 7 Private Messages potter412

What To Expect When You’re Wooting. (2012)

The time has finally come… Screaming Monkey and Plush Pig have combined their creative juices* and are expecting to bring their own bundle of joy into the world. An amazing journey ensues as they build their new family while dealing with the ups and the downs of parenting. Just how many bags of crap* can such a little thing fill?


*Literally.


w00tgurl


quality posts: 26 Private Messages w00tgurl

i'm loving all the movie posters :-P
too funny!

Cat & Duck's Investigative Assistant
LONG LIVE WOOT CLUE 2012! r.i.p. you are miseed