Valentine's Day is a day invented by greeting card companies to make people feel like crap.
--Joel Barish - "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind"
Well, maybe it sounds a bit extreme, but it's probably not too far off the mark. Ah, those special...err...observances we like to call "Hallmark Holidays". First of all, they are not real holidays, hell, even the US Postal Service still has to show up for work. The worst thing about most of them is the fact that they are designed to inject a bit of guilt into the intended "giver". An example of this would be Administrative Professional's Day, which of course, was formerly Secretary's Day but let's save that discussion for another time. At the risk of being insensitive, doesn't this person already receive recognition for performing their assigned tasks in the form of a paycheck? And PLEASE don't get me started on Boss's Day.
Don't get me wrong, Mother's Day...sure, and Father's Day...fine, but Grandma and Grandpa you've already had your shot, so let's just stick with Christmas and those increasingly meaningful birthdays when they come around. Here are some other lesser known Hallmark Holidays:
Children's Day - A holiday in many countries around the world to honor children.
Pretty much every damn day around my house.
International Friendship Day - An international annual holiday inaugurated in the USA to celebrate friendship.
Right, and the rest of the world hates our guts.
Sweetest Day - An American holiday involving giving small presents such as greeting cards, candy, and flowers to loved ones.
Huh? Didn't we just endure Valentine's Day already?
*Ahem*...I think we all get the point here. Anyway, as long as people insist on creating these meaningless "holidays" and predatory observances, let's come up with some that are at least entertaining. An observance for which you would gladly shop weeks in advance, looking for that perfect card for that special someone, rather than the usual last minute, guilt-fueled dash to the Walgreen's card aisle at midnight.
This week's Dodgeball challenge:
Design a greeting card that commemorates an imaginary Hallmark Holiday.
For example, a special greeting card observing "Workplace Stalker Day", or a heartfelt message on "Uncle-Daddy's Day". Let's see the inside, as well! Extra points for pop-up cards! Okay, I'll shut up now...after all, this is a picture contest, for criminey's sake. Post your entry here by 11:59 PM CST on Wednesday, March 7, 2007. Use Photoshop, pen and ink, collage, finger paint, paper bag, shadow puppets, Lite Brite, whatever, but it’ll only be judged if it’s visible in our forums as a jpg, gif, or png. Try to keep your maximum width to 500px. And if you want us to be sure your entry was indeed your work, post links to your source images.