Memo to the staff before you write your training reports: now that Spring Training is upon us, we need to talk about how well our veterans and rookies are preparing for the Woot season, and their brief moments in the spotlight. We need to do something about the press sneaking around here as current or former Woot products prepare for "Woot season", trying to find out who's refurbed and who isn't, before we choose to release the info. Finally, we need to spread a little disinformation to the competition- let's bulk up the numbers on some of these kids, and by all means, put it out there that the AbTilt is making a comeback- that'll spread some confusion to the other teams.
First Place - $100
madalice - ballpark follies
Oh noes! What happened to the baby?
Second Place - $50
stunnard - guitar race
This is how they gain the experience to be lead guitar!
Third Place - $20
wizard7926 - Sansa bulkin' up
32 Gb? is that all? c'mon, how many reps you have to do with such a small amount on there?
Jeanine912 - Tykes training
Looks like somebody's gettin' gooned on the juice.
callmemig - PanToning
Huey, you shouldn't be toning without your spotter color! get it? spot color? eh? eh?
tehpwnerer - Sparring
He's little, but he has a lot of heart.
easy1 - "Jump!"
"How high, sir?"
mwiseman - Squid Coach
"...aaaaaand stre-e-e-etch your 3rd and 5th tentacle. Ho-o-o-old it. AGAIN! AGAIN!"
FedUpOldHag - Fat Froggy
"Son, Coach thinks you ought to green shirt this year, get yourself refurbed, and come back strong next season."
fyrefall - Brave Womans
Photo taken just before Josie Canseco joined the team, and BW got the 'roid look.
FenStar - bravewoman with hole in leg
Ah, Brave, brave lady. The trainer will be here in just a moment to carefully draw in a pants leg over the hole that hack of a league trainer cut out of your leg- Don't they pay attention in their continuing edumacation classes? masking? who but the league Drs doesn't use masking? Oh, just continue to hold her up, Rack-o. You need to bulk up if you're going to hold any Syrah for any length of time.
Money winners, please email your Paypal info to email@example.com. Monkey Prize winner, please email your shipping address to firstname.lastname@example.org. and good luck on that doing anything for you other than increasing your impending sense of futility. Of course, while you wait, you are certainly welcome to stage endless battles between your* Legos Monkey and your Legos Robot. Remember to deck them out with Woot Masks and Capes! Honorable Mentioneers may use coupon code HONMEN-FS for free shipping on a future order. it might work once, for one of you. if not, email service and they'll be good about fixing it. Until next time remember: Humans are approximately 94% identical to chimps. and chimps are basically monkeys with their tails cut off. The weight of the hypothetical chimp tail is approximately 6% of the total body weight. Ergo, if chimps had tails, they'd be 100% human. That means humans must be monkeys! So eat your bananas.
*purchased at your own expense