"I'm a refrigerator whore!"


"I'm hungry, but I ate all my nuts. I have to eat my chocolate balls instead."

Really, I'm more respectable than I look

"Why didn't you get me anything?"

"It's Administrative Assistants' Day, not Administrative Assistants' Assistants' Day."

"Science is a set of values imposed on us by the liberals"

"She said she was having office hours in the afternoon. It's now 12:30, where is she?" Looks on sign up sheet "What?!? She doesn't have office hours until 4 PM. Happy hour starts at 4!"

"Yes, I know, but you have to let go of the fear. You have to let go!"

Mavyn wrote:"Yes, I know, but you have to let go of the fear. You have to let go!"

The only thing you have to fear is fear itself?

Home office, so might not count. SO on the phone with his (English) mom.

"We made a bunch of bangers over the weekend, so that's dinner tonight."

[quote postid="4483513" user="Mavyn"]Home office, so might not count. SO on the phone with his (English) mom.

"I get my adrenalines going"

dontwantaname wrote:just bored and bumping threads

1. i didn't know you worked in an office!
2. i wish i worked in an office where bumping threads could be openly discussed like that.

Read at the office:

Please remove the red attribute from all text. Although it was in the prototype, it wasn't meant to be in the actual report.

I think they have a rule that you need to have pants on if you are working with the kids

Female co-worker: if you've never fallen in your @ss must be HUGE.

Male co-worker: no, my eyes work perfectly.

This tip is too wide, and this tip is too small.

kenney9226 wrote:This tip is too wide, and this tip is too small.

"But this tip is JUUUUUST right!"

Sounds like something out of a prOn version of Goldilocks and the Three Bears. Or, Goldilicks and the Three Bares.

"It's different with you. You never walk anywhere...you don't even go to the mall because of the walking."

Mavyn wrote:"It's different with you. You never walk anywhere...you don't even go to the mall because of the walking."

I know a lot of people that don't go to malls because of all the walking. Most of them have bad backs and just can't do it.

lplady wrote:I know a lot of people that don't go to malls because of all the walking. Most of them have bad backs and just can't do it.

The irony there is that being more active would likely help their backs far more than getting less exercise.

On the campus I work on, walking is easy. There are lots of paths, and it's a mile walk round trip just getting to and from the parking lot. They have shuttles, but it's actually slower to take the shuttle, since I'd be the last stop on the loop.

"Fashion plate?!?! She's the whole buffet table!!"

"It's pretty long... but it's not that hard."

"He's going to keep licking it!"

"Well, I'm peeing right now, but also trying to hold in a fart at the same time. So I can't really talk..."

"You're the only one I know who can take a hsit around corners. How do you even get that crap there?"

"My balls light up too"

"If you want me to feel your butt, I will."

two female coworkers to me (a man): "Kenny, do you want to go to the restroom with us?"

I foolishly declined.

Hey, these bongos make a great laptop stand.

From Boss to file clerk: "Sharon*, will you make me a salad?"

*Name changed to protect the innocent.

"Will you stop coming into my office and taking your clothes off?"

"Oh. So that's why the birds are angry?"

"My buns keep getting bigger!"

"There is certainly uncertainty."

"Kenny just 'juggled my apples!'"

"best thing about that show is that it has nothing to do with donkeys or midgets"

In a restaurant:

"Hi, I haven't seen you in a long time."

"I haven't seen you in a long time either."

???

pooflady wrote:In a restaurant:

"Hi, I haven't seen you in a long time."

"I haven't seen you in a long time either."

???

i.e. not a stalker.

j5 wrote:i.e. not a stalker.

i.e. I recognize you so I'm going to say hi, but I'll be damned if I know your name. Oh Potty Emergency!, you said hi to me with familiarity, um hi back mystery person I knew once.