Fans of Vanilla Ice rejoice! Everyone who's not directly related to Vanilla Ice, carry on with your day. Rob Van Vinkle, the Iceman himself, is getting his own home improvement show on the DIY Network. Because if there's anyone you want running through your house wielding a reciprocating saw, it's this guy.
We're sincerely hoping the first home owners Vanilla helps "improve" will point out that their house looks suspiciously like that house David Bowie and Queen remodeled on their home improvement show, but in the meantime this opens the door on a fascinating realm: sure there are plenty of reality shows for washed up pseudo-stars to glom onto, but what about the Home & Garden crowd? Here are some F-list celebrity home improvement shows we'd like to see:
Paint My House, Bro! Starring Snooki
If you're going to hitch your wagon to a celebrity, you can't do much better than Jersey Shore's freakishly short alcoholic. Snooki will show up at your house with your crew to give it a brand new coat of paint to spice things up. Unfortunately, the paint is always a garish fake-tan orange.
Make Your House Accessible with Emmanuel Lewis
This show turns home improvement on its head because the home owners won't know it's coming! Emmanuel and his crew just show up in a truck, knock on the door, and start sawing table legs.
Beatin' the Beetus
Each week Wilford Brimley shacks up with a different Type 2 Diabetic and shows them what it takes to eat healthy, enjoy moderate exercise, and bring their disease under control. Each episode ends with a heartfelt conversation over a piping hot bowl of Quaker Oatmeal.
Comfortize Your Couch
Corey Feldman, Pauly Shore, and Andy Dick tour America searching for the best couch to crash on. They'll use their nearly limitless experience in mooching off people to show you the secret to a perfect guest room, spare couch, or flophouse. Alternatively, you could also reverse the tips to make sure people like them never show up at your place.
Montana Fishburne's A/V Team
Morpheus's pride and joy shows you the absolutely perfect setup for your home entertainment center! You'll get professional advice on the best camcorders, lighting gear, and sound mixing equipment for your own home movies as well.
With those ideas out of the way, what has-been celebrity fix-it show would you most like to see? Let us know in the comments below.