Ladies and gentlemen, put down your baseball gloves. Slide off your shinguards. Toss your pucks and basketballs in the dumpster; you'll never want to use them again. Because today is the day you learn about Kronum. Oh you haven't heard about Kronum? Well then you must be a complete sap because literally TENS of people are talking about it
and whether or not it's actually real. Check it out...
See there's this field. But it's a circle. And each team puts 10 players out on it. Then there's a zone shaped like a cross, a zone shaped like some triangles, another zone for something else, uh…I don't know. To be honest I zoned out a bit because there are like 50 different zones. Then you've got your four goals, except each goal has five MORE tinier goals worth different points at the top of it. Oh and anyone can score in any goal at any time, apparently.
This is starting to look more and more like one of those ridiculous sports they make up for movies or television shows, like "Pyramid" in Battlestar Galactica, where you watch them play it and think "This requires greater suspension of my disbelief than spacefaring battleships. No one would willingly play a game this obtuse and disjointed." Seriously. There are like eight different scoring options. Umpires can't get calls right in baseball, and there's only one way to score: you touch home plate. Good luck finding a ref who can differentiate between the myriad scoring zones and goals on the fly. Every time someone scores there will be a 20-minute pause as players examine their field's Zapruder film trying to retrace their steps to figure out who was where when it happened.
But now they're doing it for real. Allegedly. To be honest their website is suspiciously slick and shiny and filled with ridiculous "team bios" that include information like "Have you ever seen the man in the moon? Check your eyes. It's an owl." Uh, what? Was this written by a C-list professional wrestler? There's also no way we can find to see where these clubs actually are. Sure it's a small league and they're probably all based in the same suburb or whatever, but it's kind of weird.
But now they're starting a Rec league and looking for people across the country to sign up and spend your weekends
wondering when 19 more people are going to hear about this ridiculous made up sport hurling the Kronum ball or whatever you want to call it.
So let us know in the comments; would you play? What would your ridiculous invented team sport look like?