WootBot


quality posts: 14 Private Messages WootBot

Staff

One of the hallmarks of humanity is our predilection for philosophical thought: wondering just what we are, why we're here, and what's going to happen next is one of the biggest markers that separates us from simpler animals. And despite the massive pile of predictions for the future that have all missed the mark entirely, every once in awhile one is right or close enough to right that we go ahead and count it; and the fact is, it's just fun to prognosticate. And it's in that spirit that the New York Times is asking readers to compile a future timeline of human achievements and world events, starting next year...

 

Screen shot 2011-12-07 at 10.40.57 AM
Of course you might want to refresh yourself on human history, first.

 

Simply mouse-over the events (categorized as advances in Computation, Artificial Intelligence, Transportation & Lifestyle, and Communication) to read a quick blurb explaining what titles like "A.I. Government" or "Robot Wars" mean, see the year people predict it will happen, and then with the click of a button move the prediction forward or backward in time a few years.

 

Screen shot 2011-12-07 at 10.41.22 AM
Notice there's no entry for "You finally meet someone who loves you."


You can even make your own prediction, and while we certainly couldn't in good conscience ask you to spam their calendar with things like "Woot Becomes Largest Global Retailer" or "SmartPost Delivers First Package in Timely Fashion" or "Mortimer & Monte Dolls Become Self Aware, Thousands Dead," we don't know of any way they could stop you.

And speaking of Woot future events, take to the comments and give us YOUR predictions for the future of Woot. Tell us a year, an event, and if you're so inclined a brief explanation of your future-gibberish.

 

mattbruns


quality posts: 0 Private Messages mattbruns

Lets hope to see this one:

"Woot! will finally upgrade their servers to avoid crashing when the "bag of c-r-a-p" is offered during Woot!-offs"

Year = 2088

livingod


quality posts: 0 Private Messages livingod

Year 2013

For one week WOOT writers will be replaced by a bunch of monkeys with type writers, producing the funniest and history making blogs. But will have the worst woot sellout because the products will consist of "refurbished bananas", "monkey poop", "lice", and "naked photos of Jennifer Aniston" cause she attracts monkeys and baboons.

pooflady


quality posts: 20 Private Messages pooflady

2012

Major mistake made at Woot and EVERYBODY wins a Burgandy Olfactory Center Because of the sheer volume, even Toon and Snapster are in the warehouse filling bags.


everclear823


quality posts: 0 Private Messages everclear823

That would be amazing! I have faith it will be 2012!

tomprodehl


quality posts: 0 Private Messages tomprodehl

2013 - carp.woot.com launches to give Woot users who only want carp a place of their own. New bag of carp every day. Everyone complains that their carp only contained carpola. The rest of the Wootiverse enjoys themselves.

Luxasia


quality posts: 3 Private Messages Luxasia

2047

Woot acidentally helps drive the zombie apocolypse by giving out tainetd beef jerky in their bags of crap.

2048

Woot becomes the most profitable online retailer by launching their new site Ammo.Woot

Do not follow me, I walk into walls!

livingod


quality posts: 0 Private Messages livingod
Luxasia wrote:2047

Woot acidentally helps drive the zombie apocolypse by giving out tainetd beef jerky in their bags of crap.

2048

Woot becomes the most profitable online retailer by launching their new site Ammo.Woot



But that would mean the woot employees are already zombies and why would zombies sell ammo to non zombies. Remember zombies are racist!

thatheard


quality posts: 6 Private Messages thatheard
Luxasia wrote:2047

Woot acidentally helps drive the zombie apocolypse by giving out tainetd beef jerky in their bags of crap.

2048

Woot becomes the most profitable online retailer by launching their new site Ammo.Woot



Now *that* looks like a sound business plan!

Also, surprised the mods haven't caught "bags of crap" yet.

gmangsxr750


quality posts: 0 Private Messages gmangsxr750
livingod wrote:Year 2013

For one week WOOT writers will be replaced by a bunch of monkeys with type writers, producing the funniest and history making blogs. But will have the worst woot sellout because the products will consist of "refurbished bananas", "monkey poop", "lice", and "naked photos of Jennifer Aniston" cause she attracts monkeys and baboons.



If seeing Jennifer Aniston makes me a monkey... I need a banana and a tree ASAP

dustymcc


quality posts: 1 Private Messages dustymcc

2012 - zombies and vampires go out of fashion. again.

livingod


quality posts: 0 Private Messages livingod
gmangsxr750 wrote:If seeing Jennifer Aniston makes me a monkey... I need a banana and a tree ASAP



**POOF** A banana! Oh wait!... That's not a banana, umm TOM! Is banana yellow or brown??