There are plenty of places on Woot where you can find helpful information. This is not one of those places. Every week we will be comparing 3 pairs of things that shouldn’t be compared using this formula: Unrelated Thing X vs. Unrelated Thing Y in terms of Function Z. Facts will be misunderstood, overlooked, or changed for the sake of the argument. Enjoy.
1. Defensive Driving Skills vs. The Ability to Hold Your Breath Underwater For Prolonged Periods of Time in terms of Which is going to Help you Finish a Crossword Puzzle
The Ability to Hold Your Breath Underwater For Prolonged Periods of Time
Defensive driving is about being able to focus on the road and nothing else. If you’re using any energy at all thinking about words aside from “turn” or “brake,” then you’re probably doing something wrong. On the other hand, when you’re underwater holding your breath, focusing too hard on the task at hand can be detrimental, so it's a good thing to allow your mind to wander. Additionally, you can’t open your mouth, which means you’re keeping your words in, holding onto them for later when you will have a chance pour them out onto a newspaper page covered with squares.
2. Making Lots of Tea vs. Watching Family Feud Reruns in terms of Getting Through Your 1st Semester of College
Making Lots of Tea
This one’s just simple. If you’re making a lot of tea, you’re drinking a lot of tea. If you’re drinking a lot of tea, you’re going to the bathroom a lot. If you’re going to the bathroom a lot, you're leaving your dorm room. If you’re leaving your dorm room, you’re more likely to meet new people. Meeting new people means making friends, and making friends means you're happy. Family Feud, on the other hand, reminds you of your own family, which reminds you of home, which makes you think, “I wanna go back there!” And that's how you end up DROPPING OUT OF SCHOOL.
Being Able to Make Great Chicken Fried Steak
3. Having Curly Red Hair vs. Being Able to Make Great Chicken Fried Steak in terms of Winning the Gold Medal in Figure Skating
The curly red hair is going to contrast harshly with the white surface of the ice and thus get you more attention, I’ll concede that much. But we’re talking about figure skating here. You’re already wearing a weird, sparkly suit. How much more attention do you really need? Meanwhile, being able to make chicken fried steak is not something anyone can see, but it provides excellent back story. Frequent chicken fried steak makers are frequent chicken fried steak eaters, and frequent chicken fried steak eaters are generally not considered to be the most athletic people. Just the fact that you can stand up on ice skates is going to impress the judges. So, it’s like you’re skating with a built-in handicap!
Last week's Rebuttal of the Week goes to user davep1 who makes a strong case for mesh over stainless steel in terms which would be a better windshield:
You have to figure that the socio-economic status of those who can't afford glass windshields is abysmally low. As such, the protein and other nutrition provided by the bugs that mesh would let in could supplement what food these people can afford, thus raising the quality of their life.
Now, it's on you. Look at the 3 arguments above, and tell me I'm wrong in the comments. Then you might just find yourself filling out the bottom of my kinda-fun, kinda-stupid post next week!
Photos:"Can't hold my breath for much longer.." by flickr user, olliethebastard; "Tea for 4" by flickr user, Maggie&Sparrow; "Chicken fried steak" by flickr user, Kent Wang. All used under a Creative Commons License.