WootBot


quality posts: 14 Private Messages WootBot

Staff

There are plenty of places on Woot where you can find helpful information. This is not one of those places. Every week we will be comparing 3 pairs of things that shouldn’t be compared using this formula: Unrelated Thing X vs. Unrelated Thing Y in terms of Function Z. Facts will be misunderstood, overlooked, or changed for the sake of the argument. Enjoy.

1. Defensive Driving Skills vs. The Ability to Hold Your Breath Underwater For Prolonged Periods of Time in terms of Which is going to Help you Finish a Crossword Puzzle

Defensive driving is about being able to focus on the road and nothing else. If you’re using any energy at all thinking about words aside from “turn” or “brake,” then you’re probably doing something wrong. On the other hand, when you’re underwater holding your breath, focusing too hard on the task at hand can be detrimental, so it's a good thing to allow your mind to wander. Additionally, you can’t open your mouth, which means you’re keeping your words in, holding onto them for later when you will have a chance pour them out onto a newspaper page covered with squares.

Advantage:

The Ability to Hold Your Breath Underwater For Prolonged Periods of Time


2. Making Lots of Tea vs. Watching Family Feud Reruns in terms of Getting Through Your 1st Semester of College

This one’s just simple. If you’re making a lot of tea, you’re drinking a lot of tea. If you’re drinking a lot of tea, you’re going to the bathroom a lot. If you’re going to the bathroom a lot, you're leaving your dorm room. If you’re leaving your dorm room, you’re more likely to meet new people. Meeting new people means making friends, and making friends means you're happy. Family Feud, on the other hand, reminds you of your own family, which reminds you of home, which makes you think, “I wanna go back there!” And that's how you end up DROPPING OUT OF SCHOOL.

Advantage:

Making Lots of Tea


3. Having Curly Red Hair vs. Being Able to Make Great Chicken Fried Steak in terms of Winning the Gold Medal in Figure Skating

The curly red hair is going to contrast harshly with the white surface of the ice and thus get you more attention, I’ll concede that much. But we’re talking about figure skating here. You’re already wearing a weird, sparkly suit. How much more attention do you really need? Meanwhile, being able to make chicken fried steak is not something anyone can see, but it provides excellent back story. Frequent chicken fried steak makers are frequent chicken fried steak eaters, and frequent chicken fried steak eaters are generally not considered to be the most athletic people. Just the fact that you can stand up on ice skates is going to impress the judges. So, it’s like you’re skating with a built-in handicap!

Advantage:

Being Able to Make Great Chicken Fried Steak


Last week's Rebuttal of the Week goes to user davep1 who makes a strong case for mesh over stainless steel in terms which would be a better windshield:

You have to figure that the socio-economic status of those who can't afford glass windshields is abysmally low. As such, the protein and other nutrition provided by the bugs that mesh would let in could supplement what food these people can afford, thus raising the quality of their life.

Now, it's on you. Look at the 3 arguments above, and tell me I'm wrong in the comments. Then you might just find yourself filling out the bottom of my kinda-fun, kinda-stupid post next week!

Photos:"Can't hold my breath for much longer.." by flickr user, olliethebastard; "Tea for 4" by flickr user, Maggie&Sparrow; "Chicken fried steak" by flickr user, Kent Wang. All used under a Creative Commons License.

politicsisevil


quality posts: 0 Private Messages politicsisevil

Regarding Making lots of tea vs. watching family fued reruns... which will get you through your first semester of college? I think the Feud hands down. Think about it this way... if you are making lots of tea, why is this... could be that you are making this tea in a minimum wage job in a restaurant which could be eating up all of your "free time" while out of classes... This means less time to study...

This being said, if you DO have the free time to watch endless reruns of the Family Fued...

A. you DO have the free time to study if need be...

And 2. You are learning critical word association as well as what the most common things are that people think about regarding certain topics when polling 100 people...

I think you are far more prepared for the real world knowing what "100 people" answered regarding certain topics... after all these 100 people may be your college peers

seinjunkie


quality posts: 1 Private Messages seinjunkie

Re: Making Lots of Tea vs. Watching Family Feud Reruns in terms of Getting Through Your 1st Semester of College

It's not so simple as which makes you leave the dorm room more. Look, if you're making lots of tea, you are quite frankly taking up what is most likely the only ramen-boiling device in the room and that alone will get you killed. However, watching Family Feud reruns will make you realize that if your family were to play on that show, your fresh-out-of-high-school self would most likely be that family member. Yes, the one who doesn't understand what "Name something you might eat on a plane" means. "Show me cactus!"

Advantage: Family Feud Reruns

wingnutzero


quality posts: 2 Private Messages wingnutzero

Not a rebuttal, but further support of the argument re: Having Curly Red Hair vs. Being Able to Make Great Chicken Fried Steak in terms of Winning the Gold Medal in Figure Skating

Ireland has never won a gold medal in figure skating. The United States has.

'nuff said.

GeneralAnubis


quality posts: 0 Private Messages GeneralAnubis

Re: Defensive Driving Skills vs The Ability to Hold Your Breath Underwater for Prolonged Periods of Time

I'm afraid I have to disagree with this one. Any good defensive driver has the ability to think several steps ahead in any situation on the road; this is a skill easily applicable to solving a crossword puzzle, as each word placed impacts the placement of further words. In contrast, holding your breath for long periods of time is a skill that takes much practice, meaning you have starved your brain of oxygen for many, many extended periods of time. This repeated abuse has undoubtedly critically damaged your ability to solve double entendres and obscure trivia questions prevalent in crossword puzzles.

MeshColour


quality posts: 2 Private Messages MeshColour

Bravo on random unfair comparisons, this article was quite entertaining.

1. Defensive Driving Skills vs. The Ability to Hold Your Breath Underwater For Prolonged Periods of Time in terms of Which is going to Help you Finish a Crossword Puzzle

Since most people spend so much time driving, or alternatively prolonged periods of time holding their breath, we really need to look at these as concurrent activities because there is only so much time in a day.
Being able to do the crossword while driving requires great defensive driving skills, to allow you to stay alive longer while driving even if you are say on your cell phone at the same time. You can also go places while driving to inspire you to figure out what the word is and if you have defensive driving skills again you won't die in the process.
While, when holding your breath under water you don't normally use your brain, and your thinking power only diminishes as you lose oxygen. We all know a pen will go right through wet paper, let alone being able to hold up the paper in the current to read the hints and think about them.

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2. Making Lots of Tea vs. Watching Family Feud Reruns in terms of Getting Through Your 1st Semester of College

Watching Family Feud and learning how to determine the most common answers to questions would be quite helpful on tests. If 88 out of 100 said C but the correct answer was A, the teacher might take pitty or at least you'd fit into the curve. So you won't need to study at all, giving you more time to practice holding your breath under water, since you have the ability to always choose the most common answer.

mutedexposure


quality posts: 2 Private Messages mutedexposure

I cant chime in on the comparisons but I do pat you on the back for using a picture of REAL chicken fried steak instead of some of that pressed meat coated in batter stuff that comes frozen in a bag.

I look to the future because that's where I'm going to spend the rest of my life.
- George Burns

cbrett42


quality posts: 8 Private Messages cbrett42

Bravo on the randomness this week.

I'd have to go with watching Family Feud reruns as the advantage in getting through your first semester of college if, and only if, it's the era where Louie Anderson was the host. Because seeing that much Louie Anderson means you'll naturally start comparing yourself to him. You'll feel smarter and more handsome. This new-found self-confidence will do wonders for you both academically and socially in establishing your reputation on campus.

RubinCompServ


quality posts: 0 Private Messages RubinCompServ

By your own reasoning, tea will cause problems for you when trying to complete your 1st semester of college. Drink lots of tea, leave the room, blah blah blah, and meet lots of people. If you're meeting people, you're hanging out with people. If you're hanging out with people, you're not doing your work, If you're not doing your work, you're failing.

On the other hand, if you fail, you could end up part of "The Wakko Family" that seems to appear frequently in FF reruns, and if that isn't incentive to succeed, I don't know what is.

ADV: Family Feud reruns.

Mancho


quality posts: 4 Private Messages Mancho
RubinCompServ wrote:By your own reasoning, tea will cause problems for you when trying to complete your 1st semester of college. Drink lots of tea, leave the room, blah blah blah, and meet lots of people. If you're meeting people, you're hanging out with people. If you're hanging out with people, you're not doing your work, If you're not doing your work, you're failing.

On the other hand, if you fail, you could end up part of "The Wakko Family" that seems to appear frequently in FF reruns, and if that isn't incentive to succeed, I don't know what is.

ADV: Family Feud reruns.



It said "getting through", not "completing", and certainly not "successfully completing".

My guess is that if all the people you were meeting happened to be on the way to the bathroom, people would get a bit weirded out by you. "Nice to meet you, but I gotta pee" isn't going to go over very well. You would thus be ostracized by your peers. The loneliness would consume you, and you would be forced to flee to the the accepting comfort of home.

Watching FF reruns, however, would put you in a sufficient vegetative state to get through the semester. No guarantee you'll continue to another semester, but I've seen plenty of brain dead people stay in school for years, so there is some likelihood.

ADV: FF

richardhod


quality posts: 261 Private Messages richardhod

why would you watch Family Feud the first time?