Jason Toon


quality posts: 19 Private Messages Jason Toon

It takes some serious juice to get into one of those Apple announcements like the one they held today, which is why we're usually reduced to tweeting about it from afar. But when we dispatched our man Friedrich Nietzsche to the scene, Cupertino was only too happy to issue him a press pass. Here's what Freddy had to say:

"It is always consoling to think of suicide: in that way one gets through many a bad Apple announcement."

"The living being is only a species of the dead, and a very rare species. So what the hell, let's play some Fruit Ninja HD."

"The most common lie is that which one lies to himself; the second-most common is 'battery life up to 10 hours.'"

"We have iPads in order not to die of the truth."

"Once spirit was God, then it became man, and now it is available for $3.99 from the App Store."

"After coming into contact with a tech blogger I always feel I must wash my hands."

"We must not study ourselves while having an experience. That's what the front-facing camera is for."

"The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think different than those who think differently."

"A great value of antiquity lies in the fact that its writings are the only ones that you can get for free from iBooks."

"Is life not a thousand times too short for us to bore ourselves?"

 

GodfatherND


quality posts: 0 Private Messages GodfatherND

“We should consider every day lost on which we have not blogged at least once.”

littlewhitedog


quality posts: 0 Private Messages littlewhitedog

Just think about this a moment: 'the meek shall inherit the earth.' The "meekest" folks I know are nerds.

marisano


quality posts: 2 Private Messages marisano
littlewhitedog wrote:Just think about this a moment: 'the meek shall inherit the earth.' The "meekest" folks I know are nerds.



Perhaps you do not know many programmers then. The hubris of the code cowboy!

marisano


quality posts: 2 Private Messages marisano

Wouldn't that be the rear-facing camera?

RWoodward


quality posts: 58 Private Messages RWoodward

There's nothing Nietzsche couldn't teach ye 'bout the raising of the wrist.

theracoon


quality posts: 1 Private Messages theracoon

Must be a slow day in Wootland, since this has to be one of the worst things they've ever written...

Jason Toon


quality posts: 19 Private Messages Jason Toon
theracoon wrote:Must be a slow day in Wootland, since this has to be one of the worst things they've ever written...



Dad, I told you to stop embarrassing me in front of my Woot friends!!

werdwerdus


quality posts: 15 Private Messages werdwerdus
theracoon wrote:Must be a slow day in Wootland, since this has to be one of the worst things they've ever written...



"The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think different than those who think differently."

I lol'd

robino


quality posts: 2 Private Messages robino

the third most common lie is "download a movie at blazing-fast 4g speeds."

thatheard


quality posts: 6 Private Messages thatheard
Jason Toon wrote:Dad, I told you to stop embarrassing me in front of my Woot friends!!



Best come-back ever. (Unless that's really your dad)