Every week in this space, we’ll take a look at the news and offer our own incisive blend of commentary, analysis, and poop jokes. The news you need, from a voice you can trust, in the 90 seconds you have to spare: that’s Woot Weads the Wire.

SARASOTA, Fla. (UPI) -- The giant Lego man that washed up on a Florida beach has been released by police after going 90 days without an official claimant.

While police are still suspicious, they say there's no solid evidence the Lego man is connected to any Duplo-city.

WEST ST. PAUL, Minn. (UPI) -- Retailers across the United States said a Minnesota man's Tide laundry detergent theft spree is part of a larger nationwide trend.

Financial experts say that tax season generally does raise interest in illegal money laundering.

WICHITA, Kan. (UPI) -- A Kansas legislative committee declined to hear a bill naming the cairn terrier as the official state dog, stopping its progress for the current session.

Shortly thereafter legislators posed for photos to commemorate their small victory over the terrier-ists.

MOUNTAIN VIEW, Calif. (UPI) -- Regina Dugan, director of the U.S. Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency, is leaving to take a post at Google, the Internet search giant confirms.

Google has already increased security around the post, which they describe as vital to the lovely white fence out near their garden.

CAPE TOWN, South Africa (UPI) -- A science panel says it has recommended South Africa to be the location for an enormous radio telescope known as the Square Kilometer Array.

Square fans are already excited about where they might be finding the chocobo.