Every week in this space, we’ll take a look at the news and offer our own incisive blend of commentary, analysis, and poop jokes. The news you need, from a voice you can trust, in the 90 seconds you have to spare: that’s Woot Weads the Wire.
BANGKOK (REUTERS) Chaleo Yoovidhya, who rose from poverty to become one of the world's richest men thanks to astute marketing of the "Red Bull" energy drink, has died in his native Thailand.
In keeping with tradition, his ashes will be dropped into a shot of Jägermeister.
LUCCA, Italy (UPI) -- Words are dying from languages at a faster rate and new words are coming in less often, possibly because of digital spell checking, Italian researchers say.
Thousand of grammarians worldwide were found dead by their own hand, unable to deal with the guilt of being complicit in the murder of the one thing they truly loved.
HATHRAS, India (UPI) -- Fifteen people died Tuesday when a passenger train collided with a vehicle at a railway crossing in Hathras, India, officials said.
Out of respect for the grieving families, no word problems will be taught for the remainder of the year.
FALLMOUTH, Mass. UPI) -- A map of the Titanic wreck site has been made using thousands of photos taken by underwater robots in the depths of the North Atlantic Ocean, researchers say.
Researchers also worry the release of the images will be delayed, as some joker keeps writing "Scan Me Like One Of Your French Girls" across the top of the negatives.
CUPERTINO, Calif. (UPI) -- Some early purchasers of U.S. company Apple Inc.'s new iPad tablet computer are reporting the unit is generating too much heat.
Company insiders, however, are preferring to call it an unexpectedly warm dividend.