It's Friday, huzzah! That means I only have to write up another installment of The United States of Songs before I'm outta the office and free to get drunk enjoy the weekend! I guess I shouldn't talk about drinking too much; this week we're visiting Utah:
The state: Utah
The song: "Utah" by The Osmonds
Sorry, Utah. You've got to take your lumps, and when those lumps include a weird shark-toothed gaggle of sibling singers, chances are good they're gonna get picked to represent your state. Although I have to confess I had some better songs in mind that I just couldn't find any sort of link for. For what it's worth, Brian Joseph's "Utah" is cute and fun and a fitting song. He just seems to have given up music in 2005 and left no trace of his songs except for purchase in iTunes.
So, Utah. Utah, Utah. What to say, what to say. I've been through Utah, stopping specifically in Beaver, UT for breakfast. I was passing through on my way to California with a friend, though, so I don't remember a whole lot else except Ghost Rock. We saw signs for miles advertising a rest stop and "scenic" Ghost Rock. Being road weary and eager to get out of the haze of smoke and pork rind fumes and farts we'd been basting in for the last six hours or so, we pulled over to check it out. It wasn't really "scenic," it looked more like a turnout on the side of the road for when you need to pull over and let someone pass you. My pal Tim decided to explore it further and hiked through the scrub grass despite my paranoia about rattlesnakes. It's a good thing he didn't take off running, because through the bushes it was basically a sheer cliff face and a fall of, I dunno, I'm bad at this so let's say 10,000 miles. Certainly enough to kill a bumbling 20-something road-tripping to Los Angeles.
But the other thing I remember about Utah is the scenery. Utah is BEAUTIFUL. Seriously. It's a harsh sort of beauty, "mountainous desert" best sums up the spots I saw, but man the geological appeal alone is astounding. I highly recommend visiting, although as I spent not much time there I can't vouch for how prevalent or weird the Mormonism stuff is.
Seriously, though. It's beautiful.
Which isn't to bash on Mormons at all; it's just that Utah has that reputation, y'know? "The place with all the Mormons." And according to Wikipedia it's not far off: around 60% of Utahns (Utahns? I thought it was Utes?) identify as LDS Church members. I don't really know much more about the subject and Utah's almost always lit up like a Christmas tree on our sales map so I won't say anything else to avoid offending half the customer base. So you've got skiing, hiking, camping, uh, what else? Utahns? Let us know what other fun stuff you guys have. Mining doesn't count.
Your song is cheesy, Utah, but come on. You can't help but kind of smile at it, right? That's kind of how we feel about the Beehive state.
Runner-up: "Utah" by Kristin Allen-Zito
Most Laughable Suggestion: "Utah" by Emarosa
Flickr photo Utah Lake Sunset by Curtis Fry used under a Creative Commons License.
