Every week in this space, we’ll take a look at the news and offer our own incisive blend of commentary, analysis, and poop jokes. The news you need, from a voice you can trust, in the 90 seconds you have to spare: that’s Woot Weads the Wire.
LOS ANGELES, April 20 (UPI) -- Dick Clark's body was cremated Friday, two days after his death at St. John's Hospital in Santa Monica, Calif., his publicist said.
Shockingly, the ashes still look about 25.
PALAWAN ISLAND, Philippines (UPI) -- A vividly purple crab with bright scarlet pincers has been discovered on a remote Philippine island German zoologists say.
Those in the know are already describing the colorful crustacean as "crabulous!"
FORT LAUDERDALE, Fla. (UPI) -- The Broward County Sheriff's Office in Florida said a deputy was fired for repeatedly visiting nude clubs while in uniform.
Uniforms are not permitted in nude clubs.
NEW YORK (UPI) -- Lindsay Lohan's publicist says Rosie O'Donnell should focus on her own career instead of bad-mouthing the younger U.S. actress' attempt at a comeback.
Sources are quoted as saying "OooOOOooo."
NEW YORK, April 20 (UPI) -- The cast of the American television show "Glee" has become the first act to place 200 entries on the Billboard Hot 100 chart, Columbia Records said.
And in a related story, if a grown-up ties the lure, casts the line, waits for the bite, reels it in a little, and then hands it to a kid, that kid can feel like they actually caught a fish!
20 Years Of Rock n' Roll from BGSU University Libraries and nude club from catiemagee are used under a Creative Commons License