Every week in this space, we’ll take a look at the news and offer our own incisive blend of commentary, analysis, and poop jokes. The news you need, from a voice you can trust, in the 90 seconds you have to spare: that’s Woot Weads the Wire.
SAN FRANCISCO (UPI) -- Seventy-five percent of U.S. mothers say they would prefer a handmade card over a necklace from Tiffany & Co., a survey indicates.
Survey participants included real mothers like Charles Bronson, Danny Trejo, Jules from Pulp Fiction, and the Richard Roundtree Shaft, who is known for featuring his favorite handmade cards on the fridge.
PARIS (UPI) -- German-born conductor Kurt Masur, 84, is hospitalized in Paris after losing his balance and falling during a concert, the National Orchestra of France said.
Also a trombonist was fired because he couldn't resist the temptation.
LOS ANGELES (UPI) -- Motown icon Gladys Knight became the latest celebrity booted off of "Dancing with the Stars" in Los Angeles Tuesday night.
Knight said she didn't mind because she gets a small royalty every time some DJ makes a "leaving on a midnight train" joke.
PARIS (UPI) -- Right-wing protesters said they picketed the Miss Black France pageant because they oppose special treatment for minority groups.
Other protesters were just angry at themselves for thinking the event was a Pixies reunion.
LOS ANGELES (UPI) -- Actor Al Pacino was treated for an eye injury he sustained while filming a gunfight with co-star Christopher Walken in Los Angeles, the New York Post said.
This story is already being considered as the launching point for a whole generation of comedic impressionists.
BEIJING, April 28 (UPI) -- American filmmakers could tap into a more than $2 billion-a-year film market in China by drawing inspiration from Chinese storytelling, film experts said.
Hollywood insiders said studios had never considered using Chinese myth as source material until someone explained it would basically just turn the movie into a new kind of remake.
Mother's Day Card from Editor B and Georgia Southwestern from Frankie_117 are used under a Creative Commons License