There are plenty of places on Woot where you can find helpful information. This is not one of those places. Every week we will be comparing 3 pairs of things that shouldn’t be compared using this formula: Unrelated Thing X vs. Unrelated Thing Y in terms of Function Z. Facts will be misunderstood, overlooked, or changed for the sake of the argument. Enjoy.
1. A Train vs. Politics in terms of Self-Promotion
Here’s the big difference between these two things: politics go everywhere, but trains only go where there are tracks. Now, you’re probably thinking, “Oh, so politics wins then, since it allows me to reach more people,” but hold on! A train provides limited opportunities for self-promotion, it’s true, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing. In fact, it means you can build a far more specialized marketing scheme, whereas if you try to promote yourself everywhere there are politics, you’ll spread yourself too thin.
Advantage:
A Train
2. Corks vs. Molasses in terms of Selling Your House
Corks indicate a celebration. A bottle of wine or Champagne has been opened to honor something or someone noteworthy. That’s why leaving corks around the house you’re trying to sell can be a red flag for buyers. Because what the heck are you celebrating? Selling a house is a terrible, frustrating ordeal. If you take pleasure in it, it’s quite possible that you’re some sort of masochistic freak, and if that’s the case, who knows what other kinds of weird stuff you’ve done under that roof. No, leaving a half-empty bottle of molasses out is a far better idea. It’s the quintessential slow-moving substance; to own it and use it is to show you have an excess of patience, something necessary to keep a house well-maintained.
Advantage:
Molasses
3. Money in the Bank vs. Spinach Pie in terms of Rendering Video
Rendering video takes time. As much time as it takes to count all the money you have in the bank? Sure, if you a) have a lot of money (all in singles), and b) are rendering video in a bank (otherwise you’d have to go online to check your bank account, which would slow down your computer, and lengthen the duration of the rendering). For the rest of us, baking and eating a spinach pie is the better choice here.
Advantage:
Spinach Pie
The Rebuttal of the Week from last week's post goes to bsmith1, who once again proves that, in order to outsmart me, you don't need much more than a dictionary. Check out his reasoning behind why a cat's pajamas will make you look cooler than a bee's knees:
Merriam-Webster defines a "cat" as...
2: a malicious woman
OR
7: a player or devotee of jazz
Either way, those have got to be some cool PJs.
Advantage: a cat's pajamas
Now, don't worry. To compete, you don't need none o'these fancy learnin' resources like bsmith1 here. You just need to disagree with me (which is not hard). So go ahead: post a rebuttal below and see if you're next week's winner.
Photos:"Train" by flickr user, Michael de`Oz; "As Slow As Molasses" by flickr user, technicool; "A spinach pancake pie (!!!)" by flickr user, rooldrool.. All used under a Creative Commons License.
