WootBot


quality posts: 14 Private Messages WootBot

Staff

Every week in this space, we’ll take a look at the news and offer our own incisive blend of commentary, analysis, and poop jokes. The news you need, from a voice you can trust, in the 90 seconds you have to spare: that’s Woot Weads the Wire.

NEW YORK (UPI) -- Irish rocker Bono says he's not "richer than any Beatle" even though his share of Facebook was valued at $1.5 billion after the company went public Friday.

Sources say Bono was briefly richer than any Beatle, but between the time when he purchased the shares and the time when he did the interview...

 

crash

 

GLASGOW, Scotland (UPI) -- Scotland's first known example of a "cursing stone" associated with early Christianity, around 800 A.D., has been found in a graveyard, researchers say.

Previously the oldest example of a cursing stone was Keith Richards that time he stubbed his toe.

HALF MOON BAY, Calif. (UPI) -- Organizers of a California pumpkin weigh-off championship said a $25,000 prize will go to the person who grows the world's first 1-ton pumpkin.

Financial experts say this amount will roughly cover the gas it will take to haul a 1-ton pumpkin to and from the weigh-off.

 

1000 lb Pumpkin

 

ISLAMABAD, Pakistan (UPI) -- Shortly after the Pakistani government briefly banned Twitter, a case has been filed against Facebook, for "blasphemous" content.

A spokesperson for Facebook said the company knows their current design might seem unholy to long-time users, but still maintains it will offer a better long-term experience.

WASHINGTON (UPI) -- Federal officials said a security supervisor at a Minnesota nuclear power plant was fired in 2010 after he allegedly cheated on a urine test.

Insiders say they know he copied the man in the stall next to him because they both made every answer "p".

Crash from Woot.com and 1000 lb Pumpkin from -pottymouth- are used under a Creative Commons License

abitterwoman


quality posts: 26 Private Messages abitterwoman

I actually don't have a favorite this time- they were all pretty good zingers. Woot writers you were definitely on this week. ^5 for you (I think that means high 5 in nerdspeak).

"Computers don't make errors. What they do, they do on purpose."

Slydon


quality posts: 15 Private Messages Slydon

Staff

abitterwoman wrote:I actually don't have a favorite this time- they were all pretty good zingers. Woot writers you were definitely on this week. ^5 for you (I think that means high 5 in nerdspeak).



I accept your high five and compliments. Thank you very much.

Hi, I'm one of the writers. My powers are limited but I'll do what I can.

thatheard


quality posts: 6 Private Messages thatheard

As a government employee subject to random urinalysis, I can assure you I'm going to rip off the "p" joke. Probably won't give you credit either, although I may pay your royalty fees.

pooflady


quality posts: 19 Private Messages pooflady

You mean Richards didn't say "darn it?"

Well, another day has passed and I didn't use algebra once.