Maps make sense of the world for us. They guide us when we're lost, advise us when we're making plans, and enrage us when we try to fold them back up. Last Friday we asked you to "Alter the features on a map so that they depict something that relates to that specific place." A few soreheads have been throwing around the "Worst Contest Ever" jive, but we think that's terribly unfair - don't they remember the miserable Captain Bluetooth comic-strip contest? Besides, as you can see below, we were able to cull enough worthies to present a substantial shmeer of winners:
First prize - $100
KMA2 - Sint Maartini
The Dutch-administered Caribbean resort island takes on a more appropriate shape.
Second prize - $50
intaglio - Great Smoky The Bear Mountains
Only you can prevent crappy Photoshopping, and intaglio does his/her part with an awesome topographical entry. Click on the picture to see the full-size version.
Third prize - $20
Pixel8 - Homersimpsonville, GA
Pixel8 earns some d'oh with this Simpsonian meditation on place, time, and donuts.
faithcoaching - Florida Keys
One of America's greatest places meets one of America's greatest altered-map Photoshop contest entries.
joebcassidy - The Kingdom of Michael Jordan
We're not going to say this one was a slam-dunk. So don't ask us to. Because we won't. Click to restore the image to its full 568px-wide glory.
digitalecho - The People's Republic of Wal-Mart
Free the Garden Center Now! Also, click the image to see the full-size version! Now!
mnementh - Dungeon of Painful Honesty
The dean of Honorable Mentions goes cheap 'n' nasty. We like it.
KMA2 - Eire Have Another
Yeah, what the hell, let's give KMA2 an honorable mention, too.
Champions' Championship Champion
We liked servantwithattitude 's Hanging Chad entry alright, but our council of distinguished champions loved it.
We feel bad about giving this horrifying animated GIF any more attention with a Monkey Prize , but take our word for it, it hurts us much more than it hurts you. Gaze into the eldritch abyss of qwertyuiop001 's shattered psyche, if you dare...
Except for the ending, that contest wasn't so bad, was it? As usual, the wooters who created the money-winning entries are invited to email their Paypal info to firstname.lastname@example.org . The Monkey winner should send his/her mailing address to the same, and Honorable Mentioneers may use coupon code HONMEN-FS for free shipping on a future order. Until next time, remember: YOU ARE HERE.