Jason Toon


quality posts: 19 Private Messages Jason Toon

Maps make sense of the world for us. They guide us when we're lost, advise us when we're making plans, and enrage us when we try to fold them back up. Last Friday we asked you to "Alter the features on a map so that they depict something that relates to that specific place." A few soreheads have been throwing around the "Worst Contest Ever" jive, but we think that's terribly unfair - don't they remember the miserable Captain Bluetooth comic-strip contest? Besides, as you can see below, we were able to cull enough worthies to present a substantial shmeer of winners:


First prize - $100
KMA2 - Sint Maartini

The Dutch-administered Caribbean resort island takes on a more appropriate shape.



Second prize - $50
intaglio - Great Smoky The Bear Mountains

Only you can prevent crappy Photoshopping, and intaglio does his/her part with an awesome topographical entry. Click on the picture to see the full-size version.


Third prize - $20
Pixel8 - Homersimpsonville, GA

Pixel8 earns some d'oh with this Simpsonian meditation on place, time, and donuts.



Honorable Mentions



faithcoaching - Florida Keys
One of America's greatest places meets one of America's greatest altered-map Photoshop contest entries.



joebcassidy - The Kingdom of Michael Jordan
We're not going to say this one was a slam-dunk. So don't ask us to. Because we won't. Click to restore the image to its full 568px-wide glory.



digitalecho - The People's Republic of Wal-Mart
Free the Garden Center Now! Also, click the image to see the full-size version! Now!



mnementh - Dungeon of Painful Honesty
The dean of Honorable Mentions goes cheap 'n' nasty. We like it.



KMA2 - Eire Have Another
Yeah, what the hell, let's give KMA2 an honorable mention, too.



Champions' Championship Champion
We liked servantwithattitude 's Hanging Chad entry alright, but our council of distinguished champions loved it.



We feel bad about giving this horrifying animated GIF any more attention with a Monkey Prize , but take our word for it, it hurts us much more than it hurts you. Gaze into the eldritch abyss of qwertyuiop001 's shattered psyche, if you dare...




Except for the ending, that contest wasn't so bad, was it? As usual, the wooters who created the money-winning entries are invited to email their Paypal info to jtoon@woot.com . The Monkey winner should send his/her mailing address to the same, and Honorable Mentioneers may use coupon code HONMEN-FS for free shipping on a future order. Until next time, remember: YOU ARE HERE.

killingtime


quality posts: 1 Private Messages killingtime

Alright Qwerty, way to go! Woo hoo!

killingtime


quality posts: 1 Private Messages killingtime

Edit: And congrats to all the winners, too...

ReverendPete


quality posts: 0 Private Messages ReverendPete

Good Job guys. I loved all the winning entries. Surprised that Jordan didn't hit the money, because it was my favorite.

All in all, some great entries for a contest that I found difficult to be inspired for.


JoeDeeDee


quality posts: 1 Private Messages JoeDeeDee

Congrats to the winners. This may be the closest that the judging has ever come to matching my personal faves. But I would have liked to see Lincoln in there too.

Until next contest...have a nice week!

intaglio


quality posts: 0 Private Messages intaglio
Jason Toon wrote:Only you can prevent crappy Photoshopping, and intaglio does his/her part with an awesome topographical entry.


i'm a "his"

and thanks for second prize!

and congrats everyone else!

pute


quality posts: 1 Private Messages pute

.

wootrX87


quality posts: 0 Private Messages wootrX87

Lol i like the monkey prize. Its a play on words actually.MIS-ER-Y Missouri Misery haha. Iunno i just came up with that.

I think its fitting for the animation inside.

don'twantaname


quality posts: 13 Private Messages don'twantaname

Volunteer Moderator

Yeah qwerty!!!!!!

WE LURV YOU TOO! Dork!!!
No greater love is lost than that not shared.

stephanielynn


quality posts: 0 Private Messages stephanielynn

awww. No HM this time for me. Maybe mine wasn't mappy enough. Non-mapical.

I liked Smokey the best of the winners though! Good job!

Xexus


quality posts: 6 Private Messages Xexus

Excellent! All of the winning entries are not just well done, they're 100% in-line with the rules of the contest. Congrats winners, great work judges!

Signature censored by Woot

vagel


quality posts: 0 Private Messages vagel

Congrats winners...

Hey Mnementh.. can I get a full-scale copy of that map. We have a 12 hour marathon this weekend and I'm DM'ing the first 6 hours and need a new map.















.... kidding.

ajpik


quality posts: 0 Private Messages ajpik

I'm hoping someone else mentioned this, but Brasilia is *actually* shaped like a bird:
http://www.sfu.ca/~westerka/workshops/brasilia/brazilliamap1.jpg

ajpik


quality posts: 0 Private Messages ajpik

I'm not sure if someone already mentioned this, but Brasilia is *actually* shaped like a bird:

killingtime


quality posts: 1 Private Messages killingtime
wootrX87 wrote:Lol i like the monkey prize. Its a play on words actually.MIS-ER-Y Missouri Misery haha. Iunno i just came up with that.

I think its fitting for the animation inside.



My family has nicknamed Missouri "Misery" for a long time. (Since 1978, anyhow...)

When I was very young, my family got stuck in Missouri overnight on an unexpected lay over on our way back from Hawaii to Boston. The airline arranged for a van to take us and put us up in a hotel room. It was a sleezy hotel. When we got there, I can remember my mother turning on the light and there were two bugs crawling up the wall above one of the headboards. My mother, who HATES bugs, would not let my sister and me sleep inside the sheets. We had to sleep on top of the comforter dressed in several layers with are socks tucked over our pajama pant legs. The toilet seat, vanity and carpet had cigarette butt burns.

Once it was light enough outside, 4 or 5 am, she had us back on the van and back to the airport...

My husband are trying to travel as much of the US as possible, though I am sure parts of Missouri have gentrified, "Misery" is not currently on my top 10 list to hurry back to see...

KMA2


quality posts: 0 Private Messages KMA2

Thanks woot! and congrats to the other winners and HMs!

I just noticed that both entries were alcohol related. I must have been thirsty!

Jckatz


quality posts: 0 Private Messages Jckatz

I really thought Homer was going to come in first place, that was an AMAZING job!

It was the only Map based photshop that looked like it could be a real town, with a very sick city planner.

McGuffy


quality posts: 6 Private Messages McGuffy

After the headache from this contest goes away, I'll update the leaderboard (when I get home this evening).

engineary


quality posts: 0 Private Messages engineary

canary islands didnt even get a nod.. wow



i wish people had commented on mine sooner, it might have had a shot (alcoholic europe) !

wonderstew


quality posts: 0 Private Messages wonderstew

Good job winners and HM's.

VERY good choices. Well deserved. 1st place is perfect.

Happy Hamburger Day!

Shaving.

shan24


quality posts: 3 Private Messages shan24

Don't rule out Missouri so fast...I've lived here all my life, it's not THAT bug-infested. I've lived near Kansas City, in central Missouri, St. Louis, and Lake of the Ozarks, which is a huge tourist destination. Yes we have our fair share of bugs but no more than anyone else (I think anyway). Sounds like your airline just picked the crappiest possible hotel! Of course it's no Miami or Laguna Beach but at least it's not Indiana.

CONGRATS to all the winners. My faves I nominated were St. Martini, Homer, Wal-Mart, and Hanging Chad. I guess there was just no love left over for my Yogi shaped Jellystone park, or the Casperian Sea, or Cape Horn, or Malta, or Monkey's Eyebrow. sigh...oh well...I really enjoyed this contest. I was surprised so many didn't like this one.

Quailmann7


quality posts: 0 Private Messages Quailmann7

i'm just having a hard time understanding when this contest became a "play on words" instead of what the actual contest rules asked us to come up with.. "Alter the features on a map so that they depict something that relates to that specific place."

If take New Jersy... and turn it into a shirt.. or "jersey" it doesn't have anything to do with New Jersey.. other than the name.
I don't know.. i thought there were a lot of good entries.. that stuck to the rules... and didn't even get HM's...

oh well... i guess that's how it goes..

Congrats to all who made the top 10
there are some good chops in there despite the lack of attention to the rules

that's my .02
peace!

tanyaforpresident


quality posts: 0 Private Messages tanyaforpresident

Misery is nice enough, I guess, If you like boring states.
At least we have some Woot here.

wizard7926


quality posts: 4 Private Messages wizard7926

Quailmann, (nice name, btw) the woot judges always can and do change things as they go along. It's just a matter of time before the original contest idea is scrapped and the entries will be judged based on what the majority of solid entries depict, so this turned into a contest of "turn a place's features into a play on words of its name."

This happens with EVERY contest! The sooner you can recognize what the contest goal has changed to and act accordingly, submitting quality entries that can't be ignored, you're getting closer to the money spots. I'm still getting used to recognizing that critical point though!

digitalecho


quality posts: 0 Private Messages digitalecho
shan24 wrote:Don't rule out Missouri so fast...I've lived here all my life, it's not THAT bug-infested. CONGRATS to all the winners. My faves I nominated were St. Martini, Homer, Wal-Mart, and Hanging Chad. I guess there was just no love left over for my Yogi shaped Jellystone park, or the Casperian Sea, or Cape Horn, or Malta, or Monkey's Eyebrow. sigh...oh well...I really enjoyed this contest. I was surprised so many didn't like this one.



I really liked your Yogi-shaped Jellystone park I have to wonder, why the heck didn't they plan the camp that way to begin with?

I liked this contest, but I did struggle with it a bit... I went with the play-on-words thing for a couple entries myself, for lack of other inspiration (Lake Tahoe, a few-minutes too late Turkey entry, the cow as the Milky Way). Only when I was too late to make China look like dinnerware did I find myself thinking about the Wal-Mart theme. Then I was all proud of myself for actually following the rules of the contest!

2nd (x6), 3rd (x2), HM (x4), CCC (x1)... still in need of a top chop!

plinth


quality posts: 2 Private Messages plinth

Nice job, winners!

And I'm now 5 for 5 on my continuuing quest for obscurity!

Josephus


quality posts: 25 Private Messages Josephus

congrats to the winers.

er, winners.

the tie was a nice touch on the Bugglehoff.

AZGman


quality posts: 3 Private Messages AZGman

Not sure if it's been mentioned, but is the "province of random plasitc jumk" intentionally misspelled?

Grumpy 'til the day I die.

JuggoPop


quality posts: 0 Private Messages JuggoPop

congrats to the winners.


BTW, does anyone know when toon pays out winners?
I won first last week and have emailed him twice with no response...

- Brian

wootrX87


quality posts: 0 Private Messages wootrX87
killingtime wrote:

My family has nicknamed Missouri "Misery" for a long time. (Since 1978, anyhow...)

When I was very young, my family got stuck in Missouri overnight on an unexpected lay over on our way back from Hawaii to Boston. The airline arranged for a van to take us and put us up in a hotel room. It was a sleezy hotel. When we got there, I can remember my mother turning on the light and there were two bugs crawling up the wall above one of the headboards. My mother, who HATES bugs, would not let my sister and me sleep inside the sheets. We had to sleep on top of the comforter dressed in several layers with are socks tucked over our pajama pant legs. The toilet seat, vanity and carpet had cigarette butt burns.

Once it was light enough outside, 4 or 5 am, she had us back on the van and back to the airport...

My husband are trying to travel as much of the US as possible, though I am sure parts of Missouri have gentrified, "Misery" is not currently on my top 10 list to hurry back to see...



Wow, that's quite the story there. That just tells you something about airline funded airports.

hkeller812


quality posts: 0 Private Messages hkeller812
shan24 wrote:Of course it's no Miami or Laguna Beach but at least it's not Indiana.



Funny, I always thought our Hoosier motto was "No hills, but hey, at least you're not in Kentucky anymore."

Josephus


quality posts: 25 Private Messages Josephus

I think this is the coolest real earth place man-made category.

digitalecho


quality posts: 0 Private Messages digitalecho
AZGman wrote:Not sure if it's been mentioned, but is the "province of random plasitc jumk" intentionally misspelled?



Nope... and I had 3 other people look at it to proof, and no one caught it. Must be the font, I have so few at home, and that one isn't the best for readability, but was the only one in the style I wanted to use. (Note to self, take home at least some of the 5000 fonts from my computer at work....)

Good catch!

2nd (x6), 3rd (x2), HM (x4), CCC (x1)... still in need of a top chop!

DeFlanko


quality posts: 0 Private Messages DeFlanko

sigh... mars marines get no love... till next time...

DeFlanko


quality posts: 0 Private Messages DeFlanko
JuggoPop wrote:congrats to the winners.


BTW, does anyone know when toon pays out winners?
I won first last week and have emailed him twice with no response...



did you send him your soul first?... he doesnt send money till he gets your soul...

Themeafingman


quality posts: 0 Private Messages Themeafingman

To be honest, i was shocked to not see the Virgin Islands

engineary


quality posts: 0 Private Messages engineary
Josephus wrote:I think this is the coolest real earth place man-made category.



i worked for the company that was doing the construction management on this project, and they have another one; The World:

Quailmann7


quality posts: 0 Private Messages Quailmann7
DeFlanko wrote:

did you send him your soul first?... he doesnt send money till he gets your soul...



or just beg him a lot

took me like.. 10 contests to get it

AZGman


quality posts: 3 Private Messages AZGman
digitalecho wrote:

Nope... and I had 3 other people look at it to proof, and no one caught it. Must be the font, I have so few at home, and that one isn't the best for readability, but was the only one in the style I wanted to use. (Note to self, take home at least some of the 5000 fonts from my computer at work....)

Good catch!



Makes me wonder if photoshop (or other image editors) has a spell check when laying in text . . .

Grumpy 'til the day I die.

joebcassidy


quality posts: 0 Private Messages joebcassidy

Congratulations to the winners! I'm honored to have been mentioned.