Woot! - One Day, One Deal

LG Stereo Bluetooth Headset - $19.99

Sat, 21 Nov 2009 00:00:04 -0600

TEOTWAWKI

I didn’t know he was saying “Leonard Bernstein” until I looked it up.

Ralphie! Hey, how’s it going? What do you mean, “Why are you not at work?” What are YOU doing at work? Oh, “your job”. Gee, that’s clever. We’ll see how far clever gets you when your molecules are obliterated into nothing.

No, I’m not coming in! I quit that gig yesterday. Why would I want to spend my last day of existence doing clerical work? Don’t you know? They’re finally firing up the Large Hard… excuse me, HADRON Collider today. They’re gonna start attempting to make black holes any minute now and, if my extensive knowledge of sci-fi fiction and cinema tell me anything, WE ARE DOOMED, my friend. So, I’m gonna sit on my porch, drink this fancy red wine that makes me break out in hives, and listen to my iPhone with this LG Stereo Bluetooth Headset while I wait for the coming darkness to engulf us all.

You know, if I have one regret, it’s that I didn’t buy this headset sooner. I’m getting great sound from the Bluetooth 2.0 support and the switching between music and a phone call is virtually seamless. Pretty decent battery life, too, with plenty of talk and standby time. I’d tell you to buy a set, but… well, you know.

One last thing with the world ending and all, I should probably go ahead and tell you that I was the one that knocked up your sister. Good thing the world’s ending, huh? There was no way I was gonna dodge THAT bullet, otherwise. Glad I got that off my chest, though. Best to go out without any unnecessary baggage.

Warranty: 1 Year LG

Features:

Wirelessly listen to digital-quality music with your computer, MP3 player, home stereo, cellular phone, or any other device that supports Bluetooth stereo audio
Seamlessly switch between Bluetooth a cell phone and music
Works with any brand of Bluetooth enabled compatible phone or music device that supports Advanced Audio Distribution Profile (A2DP)
Bluetooth 2.0 Support
Play time up to 8.5hours
Talk/Standby time up to 11/330hrs

Specifications:

Size (L x W x T): 38.5(L) x 19.0(T)
Weight (g): 41
On Ear/In Ear: On-Ear
Ear Loop: Yes
Color: Blue / Silver
Talk Time (up to hrs): 11
Stanby Time (up to hrs): 330
Bluetooth Version: 2.0
Charging Method: Micro USB
Noise Reduction: Yes
Echo Cancellation: Yes

Additional Photos:

Ear Pads and Ear Clips

In the box:

LG HBS-250 Stereo Bluetooth Headset
Power Cable

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Price: $19.99

I want one!

Flash in the Brainpan: Shapely

Fri, 20 Nov 2009 14:30:00 -0600

There's no timer in Shapely; take as long as you need to assemble the colored squares into the required Tetrissy shapes. But... every time you move a square, more pop up. Sometimes you can use this to your advantage. But... sometimes it spells doom, since you lose when the whole grid fills up. But... if you've earned enough points, you can buy various spells to alter the board. But... spells are expensive, so you can't rely on them every time you're in a jam. Shapely seems super-simple at first. But... enough buts. Just play it.

Behold, The Future!

Fri, 20 Nov 2009 14:00:00 -0600

Intel says that in 10 years you're going to be surfing the web with no hands, which I guess is an improvement from one hand, but I wonder if controlling your web browser with brainwaves is really going to be an improvement.

For one thing, do you want your brain inextricably linked to Internet Explorer? Sure, you say you're better than IE, but someone out there will be using it, which means their brainpan is going to be vulnerable to virus attack, which means their Outlook address book is going to be used for some heinous spamming. And you don't want to imagine what a Denial of Service attack looks like when actual zombified people are used.

Clearing your cache, deleting cookies, and hiding your online information from loved ones is going to be a lot more intense, too. Now not only do you have to minimize the window when your wife walks in, but you have to hide the grand mal seizure that occurs as you delete 64 days' worth of browsing history.

Cell phones present another tricky question, mainly because every time my phone rings I think, "I should answer that. But I really don't want to talk to that jerk." Even supposing it's not my mom calling, how will my phone recognize the difference between the feeling that I should answer, but the impulse that I don't want to answer?

How are everyday applications going to run from your skull? Try using "one-click shopping" on any retail site when as soon as you think about it you've purchased whatever the hell you're looking at. People will be bankrupted within two hours of turning on their computers.

And we haven't even mentioned the massive stroke you'll surely suffer when the Woot servers go down during a Bag o' Crap.

Photo: No Brain by Flickr user Pierre-Olivier, used under a Creative Commons License.

Saturday Morning Dreams: A Better Class Of Cartoon Themes (Kinda)

Fri, 20 Nov 2009 12:00:00 -0600

You've seen the worst, now what about the best? After forcing you to deal with our horrible theme song posts, we've decided to compile a collection looking at the good side of cartoon music! During our research, we found an easy way to tell the good from the bad (as you'll see after the jump). What's the secret? Narration!

Yes, yes, we know, we know. We're blatantly skipping over things like Johnny Quest and Cowboy Bebopand The Venture Brothers and we're very very sorry about that, because they are absolutely fantastic songs. But we've decided to focus this time. We're taking a look at narration. It may have fallen out of fashion in recent years, but we believe that narration is the often-overlooked key to creating the greatest cartoon themes. Take, for example, the World's Mightiest Mortal.

Dig that crazy echo! Billy Batson might not have the best animating team, but he's sure got your attention now, right? And even better, they introduced them this way every week, so you could run to get cereal and still not miss a thing. Why can't Gossip Girl have that? Oh, uh, we mean V. Of course, it is completely possible to go too far with the narration. When that happens, you get something a bit like Blackstar.

It's no wonder this only lasted thirteen episodes. Who wants to hear that stupid story every week? It's like the kid version of going to a Playboy Mansion party and then having to talk to a sixty-five year old accountant all night. Wrap it up, Blackie, we just wanna watch He-Man. Anyway, let's just call Blackstar the exception that proves the rule. Because, for the most part, superfluously vocalized words means you're gonna have a good time during the credits, even when you know the cartoon's gonna suck. Hey, did we say "suck"? It must be time for the Impossibles!

You see the images and you know in your heart that it's going to be awful, but… that voice! That perfect balance of Orson Welles and Ken Nordine! How can you say no to that voice? Maybe this time, this time, Hanna-Barbera will deliver everything it promises. Maybe this time, the Impossibles won't break your heart. Maybe they'll be more like… the Galaxy Rangers.

Ahhh, that's the stuff. A dash of the highway to the danger zone, a hint of well placed keyboards, and lyrics that summarize the show's basic premise without giving anything away. Yeah, that's what Daddy likes. Oh, um… sorry. Forgot you were still reading along. How embarrassing. Of course, there's also the magic of implied narration. The early 80s synth-pop classic Pole Position does a great job of rocking you as you learn, letting you infer the history of this brother/sister race car driving secret agent orphan team and their justice-loving government contact who supplies them with their talking cars all from simple context clues! Plus there's a cat. Well, it's cat-like. Maybe it's an opossum.

A second example of implied narration can be found in the theme song to the only cartoon full of classic 1920s newspaper heroes, the not-really-at-all-good Defenders of the Earth. We're including it here because we noticed something very special, now that we've watched it as grown-ups. As you learn about Flash Gordon and The Phantom and that other guy, Aquaman or whatever, take a second and savor how what you're hearing sounds an awful lot like a Tenacious D song… about a decade before the band ever formed! We're sure that says something about the music world, we just don't know what.

So have we made our point? It seems pretty clear from where we're typing. Narration accompanies a better class of theme song. Maybe it's a subtle sign that someone is trying very hard to make something memorable, or maybe it's just a weird way to distract you from music you might otherwise find annoying. Who can say for sure? All we know is that, in our opinion, narration is obviously a good thing. And if you don't agree, just have a word with the robot awesome enough to convince Optimus Prime to work for scale.

Either Way, Beefcake's On The Menu

Fri, 20 Nov 2009 11:00:00 -0600

Can you tell your steak restaurants from your meat markets? Steak House or Gay Bar? gives you the name of a real establishment and you have to guess which kind it is. I only scored 36%, which I guess isn't bad for a heterosexual vegetarian.

(Thanks, FipiLele!)

MyVu Solo Plus EV Media Viewer with iPod and iPhone Conversion Cable

Woot — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 00:00:33 -0600

MyVu, Right or Wrong

Ladies and gentlemen of the committee, distinguished legislators, and terrorist pawns: the bill before you today is, to put it mildly, worse than slavery and nuclear war combined.

The American Video Goggle Council of America, whom I represent, is deeply concerned about the intrusion of big government into the freedoms we hold dear. Foremost among those freedoms is the right to watch the videos we want to watch, on the devices we choose. It’s what John Wayne went to war to protect. I don’t think any of us want to answer to John Wayne in the afterlife.

Banning the use of the MyVu Solo Plus EV Media Viewer while driving is tantamount to declaring war on our way of life. I implore you, don’t let public policy be dictated by the hysteria of the anti-freedom cabal. They wildly claim that using the innocent MyVu Solo Plus EV Media Viewer while operating a motor vehicle would somehow endanger the public safety. That’s clearly preposterous. Its 320×240 resolution image and patented SolidOptex® technology still allow the user a significant portion of his or her peripheral vision – up to several percent, according to the most reputable researchers that we’ve been able to bribe.

Do you have any idea how many iPods and iPhones have been sold in the United States? Do you have any idea how many people enjoying watching videos of some kind? Clearly, the American people have spoken. MyVu has responded by including an Apple-certified iPod/iPhone conversion cable, and standard A/V cables for other portable devices and gaming systems. How will this committee respond to the voice of the public? Please don’t twist those conversion cables into a noose around Lady Liberty’s neck.

I can testify personally that the MyVu Solo Plus EV Media Viewer does not interfere with anyone’s ability to conduct routine activities. How do I know? Because I’m watching Red Dawn on mine right now. I don’t think I need to remind the committee who won that one, do I? In closing, thank you for your time and your willingness to hear from the American Video Goggle Council of America. Wolverines!

Authorized for SquareTrade Extended Warranty

Warranty: 1 Year MyVu

Features:

Features patented SolidOptex® technology – exclusively from Myvu – for high quality optics in a durable, lightweight design
QVGA quality delivers 320 X 240 resolution; watch video yet keep your peripheral vision
Superb sound with noise reduction from included stereo earphones
Includes Apple certified iPod/iPhone conversion cable that connects to the iPhone, iPhone 3G and ANY iPod that supports video output
Standard A/V cables included let you connect with Zune, Nokia phones with video-out, digital media and DVD players, camcorders, game systems with composite video-out (Xbox, Wii, PSP, etc.)
USB-rechargeable battery lasts up to 4 hours of viewing
USB charge cable included
Handheld pendant for contrast, brightness and volume control
Inconspicuous connection cable from viewer to your device

Display

Optical System: V1 SolidOptex®
Display Resolution: 320×240 (QVGA)
Color Depth: 24 bit Color
Display Technology: Transmissive LCD Micro Display
Cable Clip: Moveable Cable Clip Included

Specifications:

Battery: Rechargeable Lithium Polymer battery
Battery Charging: USB Mini Connection Cable, 5 Volts/350 mA
Charging Time: 2 Hour Fast Charge 4 hour (USB A/C Adapter)
A/V Input Connector: 3.5 mm A/V Jack
Video Input: Composite Video, NTSC/PAL
Audio Input: Headphone Audio Input
Video Controls: Brightness & Contrast
Audio Controls: Volume
Headset Temples: Foldable, with spring extension
Headset Weight: 70 grams
Nosepiece: Three Sizes, Adjustable
Earphones: In-Ear, Ultimate Ears Earphones, Three Insert Sizes
Cable Clip: Moveable Cable Clip Included

Additional Photos:

In the box:

MyVu Solo Plus EV Media Viewer
Pendant Controller
Cable Clip
Microfiber Protective Sleeve
Composite AV Cable
(2) 3.5mm AV Cables
USB Cable
iPod/iPhone Conversion Cable
(3) Insert Earpiece Sizes

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Screaming Monkey with Woot Cape

Woot — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 20:47:33 -0600

Good things happen at the end of rainbows.

Pots of gold and equal rights marriages, mostly.

Somewhere, over the rainbow
Monkeys fly,
Wearing silly little capes
That bring tears to my eye

Somewhere, over the rainbow
Deals come on Woot
And the deals that you dare to buy
Fill your house with loot

Someday I’ll buy a flying monkey
And I’ll shoot it at the flunky
Behind me
At my computer where I scoff,
Another winding down Woot Off
That’s where you’ll find me

Somewhere, over the rainbow
Monkeys fly,
Wearing silly little capes
Why then, oh why can’t I?

If happy little monkeys fly
Wearing rainbows
Why, oh why can’t I?

Warranty: None!

Features:

Slingshot-like rubber arms
Professed 50-foot flight range
Majestic cape features equally majestic Woot logo
Screams like the souls of the damned stretching on the racks of Hades

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Back to Basics Nut Roaster

Woot — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 20:11:03 -0600

And If You Order In the Next 30 Minutes

“Yes, ladies and gentlemen, with the Back to Basics Nut Roaster, you can enjoy fresh glazed nuts in just ten minutes!”

“Steve? Steve, what are you doing up? It’s 3 AM.”

“I’m just showing the folks at home how the incredible Back to Basics Nut Roaster delivers all the great taste and nutrition of hot, roasted nuts – right on the stove-top!”

“Who? What folks? You’re alone.”

“That just means more roasted nuts for me! I’m talking almonds. I’m talking cashews. I’m talking walnuts, pecans, hazelnuts – the Back to Basics Nut Roaster does it all!”

“Steve, come back to bed.”

“The secret is the heavyweight, non-stick roasting pan. It conducts heat evenly, for a nice, thorough roast without scorching the nut-flesh.”

“Nut-flesh? Steve, I think you’re sleepwalking or crazy or something.”

“If it’s crazy to love the Back to Basics Nut Roaster, I don’t want to be sane! Here’s how to order.”

“Wait a minute. I see. I see. Steve, honey, I’m sorry, and I know it’s been hard on you, but we both know we can’t afford to get the cable turned back on.”

“I… I… I just miss it so much.”

Warranty: 90 Day Woot Limited Warranty

Features:

Makes glazed nuts in just 10 minutes
Fun to use stove-top Nut Roaster’s unique design gives you the ability to create this favorite snack at home
Great for almonds, pecans, hazelnuts, walnuts, or cashews
Heavy-weight aluminum pan conducts heat evenly
Durable, heavy aluminum pan with non-stick interior and anodized exterior makes clean-up easy

In the box:

Back to Basics Nut Roaster
User’s Guide w/ Recipes and Instructions

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Jawbone 2 Bluetooth Headset

Woot — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 20:08:33 -0600

Look It Up If You Don’t Believe Us

He was like the perfect storm of electable.

President, Texan, World War Two Veteran, and former Five-Star General, the late Dwight D. Eisenhower warned us in 1961 that the military-industrial complex was becoming too massive, and threatened to change our nation’s peaceful way of life into an eternal struggle. But you know what? He never got to see this sweet Jawbone 2 Silver Bluetooth Headset.

First of all, that’s a military grade noise elimination device in there. Yeah, boy. Noise ASSASSIN. That’s like the Special Forces of silence. Think we’d have a headset like this without a few field tests? Heck, think again.

Then there’s the Voice Activated Sensor. WOW! You talk, it listens. And what about the ability to tell speech from ambient noise? Chew on that fat, Ike!

The Jawbone 2 Silver Bluetooth Headset proves one thing: the military-industrial complex can do some pretty cool stuff. Just imagine what Cheney gets to play with! You think he’s got a hovercar? Cause that would be so sad, if he got to drive a hovercar and Eisenhower didn’t.

Warranty: 90 Day Woot Limited Warranty

Features:

Compatible with most Bluetooth-enabled devices
Military-grade noise elimination technology and invisible touch controls
Eliminates real world noise better than any other headset because it is the only headset that can accurately separate speech from ambient noise
Jawbone’s Voice Activity Sensor (VAS) detects when the person is talking and captures the frequencies of his or her speech even in the presence of noise
Touch-surface technology allows the user to operate switches by lightly pressing the outside shield
Patented Voice Activity Sensor that feels your speech
Over 4 hours of talk time and 8 days of standby time
Constructed with ultra-smooth medical-grade plastic

Additional Photo:

Jawbone 2 Bluetooth Headset in AC Charger

In the box:

Jawbone 2 Bluetooth Headset
A/C Power Adapter
41” A/C Power Cord
Small Earbud Adapter
Large Earbud Adapter
Large Leather Earloop
Medium Earloop
Large Earloop
User’s Guide

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Razer Black Pro Click Mobile

Woot — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 20:02:33 -0600

Gee, that is an awfully large tub of petroleum jelly.

And, might I add, the blue in those latex gloves really brings out the color in your eyes.

I’m telling you, I just made a simple misTAke. I did everything I was supposed to. I took off my shoes, and put all the metal in my pockets in the stupid baAAAAsket. I just didn’t even think about it when I told the TSA security guy that my laptop bag had a Razer in YEEEEEEOOOOWW. Couldn’t you be a little easier back there? I think that was my spleen you just poked.

You’re going back for more? Couldn’t you at least maybe warm that stuff up first?

Listen to me, the “Razor” you are so GENtly looking for is a Razer Pro Click Mobile mouse. The one that was actually in my laptop bag like I saaAAAAID it was? It’s awesome for traveling with it’s small size and portaaAaability. It’s comfortable to use, has a long battery life, Bluetooth 2.0 with adaptive frequency hopping and I am pretty sure it is not EEKhidingbehindmyLIVER, officer.

Phew. Is that it? Are we done here? No, I understand you’re just doing your job. You do good work. I’ve never had my lungs tickled before, and now I can say I have.

Warranty: 90 Day Razer

Features:

Powered by Razer Precision™
Bluetooth 2.0 with Adaptive Frequency Hopping
Ambidextrous design for comfortable fit
Long battery life enables continuous usage
Travel pouch for protection and portability

In the box:

(1) Razer Black Pro Click Mobile
(2) AA batteries
(1) Pouch

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