Tuesday, July 31

So You Want to Start A Shadowy Cabal of Assassins! Chapters 1-3

by Randall Cleveland

Greetings! If you're reading this you've taken the first step towards establishing your own sinister league of assassins for nefarious purposes: purchasing this book!


Shooting Nocturne - Assassin's Creed - Louvres - Paris - 2011-10-01- P1260121
Training is a joy when you're an assassin! And incredibly attractive.

NOTE: UNAUTHORIZED/ILLEGAL DOWNLOAD OR DISTRIBUTION OF THIS WORK WILL BE PROSECUTED TO THE FULLEST EXTENT OF ALL APPLICABLE LAWS

Sure, television and movies make it look easy, but there's a lot that goes into establishing yourself as an insidious global force of death and mayhem. Lucky for you, you've acquired the best guide on the market! Read on, and learn the inside tricks of the trade that other assassins won't share because they're too worried you'll take their business!

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Wednesday, July 25

Free Marketing Advice: Chick-Fil-A, Just Stop

by Randall Cleveland

You've probably heard of the ruckus by now, but in case you haven't: fast food chain Chick-Fil-A has been in the news recently because their owner came out as pro- "traditional marriage" or, as the media have spun it, anti-gay rights. Stop. Stop right there. I see you mousing over the comment button, ready to take me to task for daring to tackle such a hot button issue on a commerce site. Well, I'm not. I'm not going to discuss the arguments on either side of the issue. I'm only here to offer some unsolicited advice to Chick-Fil-A on their recent series of PR blunders.

Ready? Here it is:

Shut. The hell. Up.


Halloweekend 2009
The debate in a nutshell.

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Tuesday, July 24

WootFlix: Interested in The Inbetweeners?

by Randall Cleveland

There are only so many hours in a day, which is why you can't waste your time at work watching just ANYTHING on Netflix Instant. That's why I swim through the krill that is online streaming content and filter out only the choicest, juiciest plankton for your enjoyment. Or something. Anyway, it's called WootFlix.

This week's show: Another British sitcom, "The Inbetweeners"

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Wednesday, July 18

Wootpocalypse: July

by Randall Cleveland
Apocalypse?
Flickr photo Apocalypse? by Michael Lehenbauer used under a Creative Commons License

 

What would you do if the world seemed to fall apart before your eyes? Follow one man's diary of his descent in Wootpocalypse, Woot's new horror series.

 

 

July 1
7:30a
Happy Birthday to me! And hello to you, journal. No more "brilliant" ideas lost forever because I didn't have a notebook on me to write them down!

July 1
9:45a
Don't ever come to one of Hank's meetings unprepared again. What a friggin' jerk. Comedy idea: guy who has to be contrarian to everyone about everything. Even to the point where he defends Hitler!

July 1
3:10p
Oh goody, another random "terrorist warning" from the NSA. Idiots. Comedy idea: NSA tries to reintroduce the color code as something hip and new. Rainbow?

July 1
10:45p
Okay, getting better about writing ideas down. Now I actually have to start turning them into something!
 

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Tuesday, July 10

WootFlix: Take a Gander at Green Wing

by Randall Cleveland

Your time's valuable. That's why you need to know before you commit to watching an old television show on Netflix that it's going to be good, dammit! So I filter the detritus of Netflix Instant and watch it all at work so I can let you know what's worth watching and what's not worth the trouble. It all gets piled into a little thing I call WootFlix.

This week's show: The British sitcom "Green Wing"

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Thursday, July 05

Woot Conspiracy Theories: They Only Call it Weird to Discredit The Truth

by Randall Cleveland

When I first heard we'd be dedicating a whole week on the Woot blog to Weird America, my first reaction was, "That's a dumb idea." Then my next reaction was, "Well, at least I don't have to write anything about it." But THEN someone said, "Hey, you should write about some of those crazy conspiracy theories you believe! Those are pretty weird!"

Weird? Uh, if having the bravery and honest American common sense to seek the truth and see through the lies of the establishment is "weird," then guilty as charged I guess.

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Tuesday, June 26

The Real Reason You Should Be Mad About the Facebook Email Switch

by Randall Cleveland

If you haven't heard the news or you're one of those Luddites who refuses to get a Facebook account (how could you hold out after reading all the positive press lately?), Facebook recently pissed off pretty much everyone with an account by changing their default contact email to [username]@facebook.com without telling anyone. Oh, that's not entirely true. Facebook kinda sorta mentioned it might happen back in April, so as far as they're concerned you've got no right to be upset. Even though they straight up lied:

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Wednesday, June 20

Free Marketing Advice: Microsoft, I Want to Help You

by Randall Cleveland

If you missed the news, Microsoft recently unveiled their new "iPad killer" (I don't know if they're actually billing it as such or if that's just what tech news junkies decided to call it; it's tough to pinpoint from where the term originated): Surface. It's a tablet PC, an idea so completely revolutionary you'd forget they already did this back in 2002. They spent a lot of time, money, and marketing on getting people excited about it.

Then it froze during the presentation.

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Tuesday, June 19

I'm in an Abusive Relationship with Madden

by Randall Cleveland

I love football. I love video games. So it should come as no surprise that I buy Madden NFL Football, the annual sports sim EASports releases so that dorks like me can live out their gridiron fantasies. Not, like, "Oooh, kiss me down THERE, Tom Landry," fantasies. More like, "I just won the Super Bowl for my hometown team!" kind of fantasies. But I don't judge if you go for the former. 

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Friday, June 15