A Philips TV Of Your Choosing

by wootbot

Picking Teams

An important developmental experience in the life of every loser. 

Oh no oh no oh no oh no. They're picking teams again -- UGH. This is the worst. I always get picked last just because I'm a 17" RCA TV from 1996 and they're all big fancy Philips HDTVs. Don't the customers understand what this experience is going to do to my long-term self-esteem? Don't they realize that I will look back on this (years later, from the therapy couch) and realize that THIS was the moment when I decided I just wasn't good enough?

Surprise, surprise: The customer picked the 40" 1080p LED HDTV with NetTV & MediaConnect first. Nobody saw that coming. SARCASM. Yes, it's big. Yes, it features the NetTV media library and MediaConnect for wireless computer connectivity, but you know what it doesn't have? Heart.

Yup, and there goes the 40" 1080p LED HDTV. I'm sure that 4000:1 contrast ratio will make up for its utter lack of CHUTZPAH, customer. Didn't you even watch Rudy? And, of course, there goes his brother, the 40" 1080p LCD HDTV. Can someone say "nepotism?"

Let's just get the rest over with. The customers are going the pick the two 32" TVs next, leaving me last. No need for all this pomp. I'll just -- wait. What? The customer wants…me…next? There must be some kind of mistake, I mean, I've been waiting for this my whole life, it's just…

I'm not sure I want to join any kickball team that would have me as a member.