No touching? No Acer.
Everyone figured the Committee for Appendage Economization would play it safe: take one pinkie toe, part of an index finger, you know, nothing major. But no. It was an election year, after all, so the committee members made a bold move: no more fingers.
"All these moving parts," said their spokesman to the press, "It gets so confusing. How do you know where to concentrate. And the fingers, they're the worst of them all. So small. So many of them in such a condensed space. Ugh! It's too busy. So We just said, 'get rid of them.'"
The committee set aside a single day to hear appeals. The location: a local high school. They occupied the front row of the theater, while the various people and advocacy groups waited in the hallway for their chance to step on stage and express their concern as if it were an audition.
Among them was a boy named Hank with a small messenger bag. He leaned against the wall and waited for his turn. The hours passed slowly. He watched not only as the various people entered and exited the theater. The group of concerned pianists, the woman with the "Save the Wave" tee shirt, the two nervous men who argued the psychological benefits of knuckle cracking and fingernail chewing - all of them walked in jittery with nervous energy and out with tired, somber faces that betrayed their defeat.
As the crowd in the hallway thinned out, it grew clear that Hank may very likely be the last person to make a stand for fingers. Would what he had in his bag be enough? Would the committee see the Acer ICONIA A200 Tablet with its 10.1-inch capacitive multi-touchscreen display - a device rendered useless without fingers - and immediately understand the impact of their decision, not just upon the human body but on technology?
He sure hoped so.