I told you to buy a Mac because they're simpler, not so you could become faux-hipsters.
"O. M. G. Did you see this new Tumblr about cats in glasses drinking espresso?"
"Psh. Last week."
"Mom? Dad? Can we talk?"
"One sec. Gotta tweet this."
"Oh, I just got it. @Nancy1956 tweeted she's about to have real talk with her son and her husb."
"Husb? Look, this is getting out of hand. When you guys asked for advice on what computer to get, I recommended the Apple Recertified MacBook Pro 17-Inch laptop because, well, you guys aren't real tech savvy. And MacBooks are great computers for people who don't get computers. Plenty of power to do whatever you could possibly want, and safely locked down so you can't stumble into the inner workings and ruin something."
"Yeah, but now we're totes on board with Apple superiority."
"All the people who create stuff use Apple, Devin."
"The only thing you create are e-cards with pictures of squirrels."
"They're NOT ironic. They're just dumb. And you guys are making us all look bad!"
"Totes gonna put this on my Tumblr."
"OMG. Call it 'S--- My Son Says."