Aspiring Comedians: Daniel Songer is Going to Make You Give Up

by Randall Cleveland

Life as a burgeoning comedian is hard. You've got to be ready to face a lot of rejection as you perfectly hone your craft joke by joke, bit by bit, holding each revision up to the withering scorn of an audience and battering your self esteem down to just enough tatters to piece together and attempt it all again. Ask any stand-up worth their salt and they'll tell you it can literally take YEARS to perfect a bit.

Those comedians, of course, are not Daniel Songer. Be forewarned, he's not afraid to work blue, so there may be NSFW language...

 


See, in the last year or so Daniel's uploaded 148, count 'em, 148 "comedy" acts. Some of them are shot on various decks. Most of them involve bizarre dancing and hand movements which we're not unconvinced are actually hidden-in-plain-sight encoded messages to sleeper cells across the United States ("He framed his face while singing about the G-Spot. Tomorrow we attack Kansas City!") and all of them are absolutely god-awful. Seriously. Like, cancer-inducing awful.
 

But therein lies the dichotomy of Daniel Songer. He starts with the Chris Farley "heeeey maaaaan" accent that apparently someone told him was funny once and you immediately dislike him. He launches into his "jokes," which are invariably obsessed with poop, sex, and homophobia (PS: Super-exaggerated interest in women? Jean shorts? Every other joke ending in a "but seriously, I'm not gay" reference? You're not foolin' anyone, Daniel) and you immediately start hoping the video ends with a plane crash. Then the bizarre dance moves start: hips gyrating, chest sweating through his $30 polo shirt, he puts literally the first words in his head to song, often just repeating the same phrase over and over in different pitch, rhythm, and volume like he's searching for just the right vocal inflection to make it funny. The search is as futile as searching for the perfect frosting to make a dog turd delicious. You can only do so much with the source material.

But then, before you know it, you're laughing. Scornfully, of course. In pity. But dammit, you're laughing at his routine. He's won. And that's when you realize that if you're laughing at a comedy routine like Daniel Songer's then up is down, black is white, and there is no hope for anything good in the world. You watch all 148 of his videos as you become increasingly aghast at what you've become.

 

You can only continue laughing as you put the barrel of the shotgun to your lips.

 

Thanks to NextRound.Net for scooping it yesterday.