Asus 15.6" FHD IPS Touch Core i7 Laptop

by wootbot

The secret ingredient is technology!

A message from Vick Asus, President & CEO.

"Hello, Asus team members. I appreciate your willingness to meet on such short notice. As I mentioned in my email, this announcement cannot be delayed. I'm simply too excited to share this news with you.

As you know, Asus is currently synonymous with innovation. Quality consumer electronics - that's what people think of when they hear our name. But we can't be sure this electronics fad is going to last. Asus needs to be a part of something timeless. A perennial product that anybody can use.

And so, I'm thrilled to tell you, Asus employees, that as of today, we're out of the electronics industry. We're moving on.

I hear those gasps. I know you're shocked. Maybe even a little worried. You're wondering, 'Vick, what could possibly take the place of our superior line of computer hardware and electronics?' I'm going to tell you. Are you all ready?

One word: Sauce.

That's right, ladies and gentlemen. We're shedding the futile albatross of consumer technology for good. Instead of that old burden, we're getting into the jarred sauce business. Think about it. Asus Sauces will fill kitchen pantries across the globe. Marinara. Alfredo. Gravy. We can do it all. We've already started work on a Ponzu that's projected to dominate the highly-competitive Ponzu market by 2016.

I hope you're all as eager as I am to begin this new chapter for Asus. Rest assured, sauces are the future. The tech game was a great way to build our business, but now's the time when the real bucks start pouring in."