Asus Eee PC 900 Netbook with 1.6GHz Atom Processor

by Wootbot

Live From the Borscht Asteroid Belt

Ladies, gentlemen, and zfo’orzzxes, put your tentacles together for the filthiest insult comic in the galaxy: Frank Blrgrooool!

Thanks, everybody, thanks for that welcome. Is this a nightclub or the Intergalactic War Crimes Court? Wake up here! I’ve felt more warmth on the dark side of Neptune! You’re like a bunch of Venusians the morning after payday! I love playing here, though, I really do. How about those bathrooms? I haven’t seen such a disgusting gzzlorgl since my first wife on our wedding night!

Hey, look who we have with us in the audience tonight: it’s the Asus Eee PC! Don’t worry, Eee, I’ll try not to use any big words that your Intel® Atom N270 won’t understand! I’m not saying he’s dumb, but one day the Asus Eee PC walked in with a handful of fvornvnik dung and said “Hey guys, I almost stepped in this.”

Now, me and Eee were in the service together back during the Sklee-Kurll War, and ladies, I can tell you from experience: it’s not just the cute little 8.9” LCD. EVERYTHING on this netbook is compact. Believe me, a Jupiterian he ain’t! And don’t believe what he tells you about that internal solid-state drive – this guy drives like a nearsighted Centauran with his glasses stuck up his kshreel’kul and both of his barnaxx in his wife’s purse!

But seriously, Eee’s good for a lot of things. Browsing the Internet. Email, word processing, music and video. And if you turn your back on him while any Mercurians are around, he’s good for winding up in a pawnshop! Oooh, you Mercurians don’t like that one, huh? Let’s make a deal: I’ll stop making that joke if you guys stop stealing the stereo out of my rocketship!

Uh-oh, I think that’s my cue to get out of here. Besides, I’m late for an appointment to qwonk-onk Eee’s wife! Thank you! G’night!

Warranty: 1 Year Asus

Authorized for SquareTrade Extended Warranty



Features:

  • 8.9” screen size for more-than-ample viewing space, making it more comfortable on eyes when in use
  • 1024×600 resolution allows you to view a single A4 page without the need to scroll left or right for easier reading and editing of documents
  • Built-in Solid State Disk (SSD) technology ensures that the internal drive stays quiet, draws less power, boots up faster and resists physical shock
  • Robust data protection and superior shock resistance, ideal companion for reporters, wildlife photographers and other outdoor enthusiasts
  • Incredibly intuitive point-and-click user interface that even first-time PC users will find extremely easy to use
  • Fast boot up, get onto the Internet in mere seconds from the time you press the power button
  • Open Office, Skype, and 50 other applications preinstalled

Specifications:

  • Operating System: GNU Linux
  • Display: 8.9” Display, 1024×600 resolution
  • LCD Type: LED Backlit
  • Intel CPU & Chipset: Intel® Atom N270 1.6GHz
  • Hard Drive: 4GB Solid State Drive (SSD)
  • WLAN: Built-in 802.11b/g
  • Memory: DDR II 1GB
  • Display Card: Intel UMA
  • Audio: Hi-definition Audio
  • Stereo speakers
  • Built-in Mic
  • Storage Cards: SD/ MMC (SDHC)
  • Battery: Li-ion Battery, 4 hrs of operation under normal use
  • Power: Output: 12V, 36W; Input: 100-240V AC, 50/60Hz universal
  • Dimensions: 8.86" (W) x 6.7" (D)  x 0.79" ~ 1.33" (H)
  • Weight: 2.20 lbs (with Battery)
  • Case Color: Pearl White
  • ASUS Exclusive Utility： Super Hybrid Engine; Eee Connect; Dr. Eee

Input / Output:

  • 3xUSB
  • MMC/SD(SDHC) Memory Card Reader Slot
  • VGA-out (D-Sub, 15pin)
  • Earphone jack (3.5mm Audio Out)
  • Microphone (3.5mm Audio In)
  • RJ45 10/100 Mbps LAN Connector

Additional Photos:

In the box:

  • Eee PC 900A Netbook
  • A/C Adapter and Cord
  • Rechargable Netbook Battery Pack

Inset photo credit: odegaard