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Help Professor Crapschmidt solve his Master Equation

(Sum of ages at death of assassinated U.S. Presidents) * (Cantos in Byron's "Don Juan") /offers/476d66acf0be4c4aa0a3dec0088be7a4

Welcome to the Crapschmidt Conundrum, a cerebrum-crunching Woot-Off trivia game with crappy rewards! Follow along here to play, and keep an eye on new items as they appear. You don't need math skill to play -- only need a calculator, a search engine, and competitive/masochistic streak! 

Professor Basil P. Crapschmidt is on the verge of an intellectual breakthrough. After years of painstaking study, he has determined that the universe can be explained by the numbers found in random bits of trivia. His only problem: He can't do math.

Help this visionary but arithmetically challenged scholar complete his Master Equation and you shall be crappily rewarded!