Always Be Prepared
Because you never know when you’ll need to hang a picture frame or fight off flesh-eating dead guys.
“Laugh at me, will you? HA! Who’s laughing now, suckers?”
Kurt, what are you going on about?
“It’s actually happening, Lisa.”
“The Zombie Apocalypse. It’s real.”
Are you out of your mind? Is that why you bought that Black and Decker 59-piece tool set and an entire pallet of MREs? I thought you were just stocking up in case of a tornado or an earthquake. But you built an entire underground bunker in our back yard because you think ZOMBIES are going to attack us?
“It was in the news! The police just shot and killed a guy who they caught eating another guy’s face! Hand me the long nose pliers, box of bits and cordless drill. I have to reinforce the hatch.”
That wasn’t a zombie, Kurt. It was a crazy junkie high on who-knows-what.
“That’s what they want us to believe! You think they’re just gonna come right out and say it’s zombies? It would be total chaos. Could you hand me the tape measure, please? I want to see how far I can chuck this hammer.”
What is … is that a mannequin?
“No, it’s a crash test zombie. Let’s see how it holds up to a massive blow to the head.”
My God. You really have lost it. Why are you laughing?
“Because I just remembered what year it is. Touché, Mayans. Touché.”