CES Adventures, Part 3: I Like Your Sticker!

by Randall Cleveland

While my two compatriots were busy conducting a cool interview with one of the guys from Makerbot I figured I should try to find something worth snapping a few photos. I puttered around the exhibits looking for something I could mock sarcastically when suddenly, I hit the jackpot:

E-Paper Printing!

 

E Paper Printing

 

"This'll be perfect," I thought to myself, "What a ridiculous idea! Who needs to print on e-paper?! I'll have a dozen jokes about what a silly, ridiculous-"

"Can I answer any questions for you?" A sharp-looking man with close-cropped white hair, a neat mustache, and a posh English accent materialized in front of me, seemingly judging my existence in his display booth. Nice try, buddy; you may be suave, sophisticated, and obviously of much higher social status than me, but YOU'RE the one repping this silly product. I moved in for the comedic kill.

"Yeah, uh, what is the point of E-paper printing?"

"Try to sign an electronic document," he launched into an obviously-well-rehearsed speech.

"Well, I can. If it's a PDF and I'm using Adobe, I can add my electronic signature."

"Rrrright, now try and make changes to that document."

"Well, I can-"

"Now try and share that document with everyone in your office without using a single sheet of paper." I was pretty sure I could still do that without an E-paper printer, but his confidence was unnerving. I was thrown off. I sat there as he walked me through the tablet, the stylus, and the fact that this would help reduce paper usage in businesses almost completely. Suddenly, I was sold. This WOULD reduce paper waste! I began nodding. Here we were, serious businessmen at a trade show, exchanging information like real professionals.

"Heeeeeeey, I like your sticker!" The Englishman's colleague, a fun-looking  Eastern European fella, flashed me a huge, filthy grin and a double-barreled thumbs up. I was as confused as the suave Englishman until his pal pointed at my crotch.

 

E Paper
This guy.


That's when I remembered that at some point, Jason had demoed some random massage equipment and they had heart-shaped stickers that said "I got rubbed at (whatever the name of that massage company is)!" I had swiped a sheet of them and affixed one to the front of my jeans hours ago as a goof, and since I have the attention span of a fruit fly I quickly forgot and had marched around the convention center all day with it there.

And now here I was, in the middle of a quasi-interview with a man in a suit talking about an interesting product, with a heart-shaped sticker over my genitals.

"Uh, I don't know how that got there," I stammered.

"Really? Someone touched your junk and you didn't notice?"

"I work with some pranksters. Do you guys have a card or some literature or something?" I was desperate for an out.

"No," the Brit replied icily, "you know, that would be wasting paper."

"Oh, well we DO waste paper, so here's my card-"

"I won't need it. Here's a flash drive. Go on."

I slunk back to meet up with my coworkers.

Of course, we did actually COVER some of the convention as well. Check out the rest of our CES Coverage!