CES: Our 2013 Faux-verage Begins To Continue

by Scott Lydon

As Jason prepares to go to IHOP with Fiona Apple or whatever, the people who ACTUALLY DO THE WORK AROUND HERE have taken some time to recap what went down at CES according to the big boys. That's right, it's my second day of faux-verage, and already I'm farming it out.

JUST DEAL, okay? And do it after the jump. See you inside.

Today's big news from Techcrunch: "pure play" devices are under threat! A new CES-timed survey says that people don't want devices that do only one thing any more. These findings are already being felt the hardest in the toilet paper industry.


 

Gizmodo, of course, alternates between helping Gawker find famous people and taking a peek at Ford's new smart car. Ford says that, almost immediately, anyone can download the specs to write an app for their vehicles. This could lead to lists of exciting roadside attractions, great ways to make an in-car hands-free DJ set, or possibly the thing every driver has always dreamed of: a video game where you get points for shooting that guy who's been doing thirty in a sixty-five for the last twenty-two miles.

IMG_5708
 

But the highlight of CES news for me? That amazing one terabyte flash drive from Kingston! Just think! Shortly finding the file you need will be as much fun as spending a Sunday cleaning out the garage!

2007-11-24 14.28.14 - Messy Garage (1)
That business report was in one of these poorly labeled folders, I think.
 

Be sure to keep an eye on our CES stream to see Jason's real on-the-ground coverage as soon as he stops eating the free hot dogs at Circus Circus. And take heart! My faux-verage will return tomorrow with 100% more lies and half-truths!

iPhone from renatomitra and Lockable Toilet paper holder from Sustainable sanitation and FastCustomer Swiss Army Knife from teamstickergiantand IMG_5708 from John Munsch and 2007-11-24 14.28.14 from nullman are used under a Creative Commons License.