What To Expect When You're TV Shopping
Congratulations! You're about to be the parents of a bouncing baby TV!
What an exciting time for Mother and Dad as they prepare to welcome their new arrival! Between setting up your TV nursery and fielding all kinds of unsolicited advice from moms, aunts, grandmas, and other TV owners in your family, you probably haven't had much time to think about how your TV is developing. Here's a look at your Philips LED HDTV at each stage of its prenatal growth:
26 inches: Your TV's 720p resolution is now fully developed, as is its wireless Net TV. It's really starting to pack on the baby fat now, and it can probably hear your voice now, too. If your TV is a boy, its testicles have begun descending into his scrotum.
29 inches: At this stage, your TV needs a lot of protein to fuel its 120Hz Perfect Motion Rate and SRS TruSurround HD. Eat as much meat, cheese, and beans as you can, then eat some more. Medical professionals recommend the Big 'n' Beefy Mega-Cheesy Nachito Wrap, available for a limited time at Taco Bell. Remember, you're gorging for two!
32 inches: To accommodate your growing TV's SRS TruSurround XT, your uterus is now pushing up near your diaphragm and crowding your stomach, causing shortness of breath, heartburn, and back pain. Just remember: that 720p progressive-scan picture will make it all worth it.
39 inches: Your TV has now achieved 1080p Full HD resolution! Including the stand, it now weighs about 22 pounds and has developed a 300 x 300mm VESA hole pattern, whatever that means.
40 inches: Big as she is, your HDTV's skull bones are still not yet fused. Don't worry - it's just to allow it to squeeze through the birth canal. So you've got that to look forward to.