Cold Drinks/Hot Drinks

by Jason Hinklin-Lauderdale

I'll be honest. I did a lot of things for money as a teenager I'm not proud of, including, but not limited to, passing out breadsticks to snickering friends or dancing around in a mouse suit for the entertainment of children. But if I had walked into The Freckled One's Squared-Burger House on my first day and been forced to watch these orientation videos, I might have run for the door, car insurance be damned.

 

I can't be certain, but I think they stole that bassline from Paula Abdul. And I can only assume that the noise she makes at 1:08 is some kind of strange company mating call. Who knows?

Of course, that's got nothing on the way Mr. Hot Drinks attempts to seduce you as he sings about the proper way to prepare coffee.

 

I can't imagine what it must've been like having sit there in your uniform and visor and not be horrified. Then again, most people can't imagine having to lube up a kid's hand to get it unstuck from a skeeball machine, so I guess we're even.

[Thanks to superbadgirl for the links!]