Every week in this space, we’ll take a look at the news and offer our own incisive blend of commentary, analysis, and poop jokes. The news you need, from a voice you can trust, in the 90 seconds you have to spare: that’s Woot Weads the Wire.
TOKYO (UPI) -- A court in Japan has sided with a Japanese man who wants Google's "autocomplete" search feature suspended because it wrongly links him with criminal activity.
And in a related story, Rick Santorum is said to be considering a change in citizenship.
ARLINGTON, Texas (UPI) -- The company that handles concessions for the Texas Rangers said fans at Rangers Ballpark will be able to buy a 1-pound hot dog for $26.
Fans of stadium snacks may recognize that price as the going rate for a single ounce of beer.
LOS ANGELES (UPI) -- Most U.S. adults say the health insurance mandate is unconstitutional, but even more say Congress cannot mandate people buy broccoli, a survey indicates.
Jackbooted UN troops are reportedly already in position at most major ice cream stores to corral the unruly in phase one of Operation Grownup.
ANKARA, Turkey (UPI) -- The Anti-Defamation League, based in New York, is criticizing a Turkish company for using video of Adolf Hitler to sell shampoo.
Additionally, the Anti-Stupid League is criticizing them for targeting shampoo at the racist skinhead market.
NEW YORK (UPI) -- Mental athletes gathered in New York City to participate in the 15th Annual USA Memory Championship, officials said.
Instead of enduring a qualifying round, participants were simply invited to "the same place as last year."