Etch Your Name On The World
How are you ever going to prove your undying love to someone if you don't carve your names into a few picnic tables?
As you blow the last bits of wood away from the top of the table, you feel it. This is it. This is your masterpiece. This is the one that's going to convince Freeda that you're the one for her.
And it's been a long time coming. Ever since the first time you opened your CRKT Pazoda Folding Knife and carved the initials of you and your beloved joined by a "+" and engulfed within a cartoon heart on the very first picnic table you'd ever shared, you knew she was the one.
But she was unimpressed by your juvenile display of affection. Oh, how her shrug hurt your heart! Oh, how the bruise the flatness of the words "that's cute" left on your soul! Clearly you needed a bigger act of park vandalism to gain her favor!
And so your life as a criminal of love began. Cupids, love birds, hearts and clouds a-plenty, all of them etched into the tops of tables all over the cities parks under the shroud of night by you and your trusty 2.625" premium 8Cr14MoV blade. Every afternoon, you came up with excuse after excuse to drag Freeda out of work to share lunch on your latest declaration of devotion. Nearly every time, she would nod, say "That's so sweet," and go back to her chicken salad sandwich.
She won't be able to brush you off so easily this time, though, not when she sees this. You imagine her reading over the words you've so lovingly carved, maybe even tearing up as she crawled underneath to read the part you were forced to scrape out upside down. It's the story of you, of her, and of your lives together, written by the tip of a gray titanium nitride-coated tip for all who enjoy all-weather park dining to see.
Later, you'll find out Freeda ran away with someone who used a chainsaw to sculpt a life-sized facsimile of her out of the oldest tree in the park. But for now, take the time to admire your handiwork. You're not going to feel this good for a long, long time.