Dyson DC24 All-Floors Upright Vacuum

by wootbot

For Klaarrg and Country

Only the brave step boldly into the shadows of uncertainty and constant suction.

Bwfrork looked down upon the tear-streaked faces of his wife, Lllarf, and their two children, Wokk and Sally. He knew this might be the last time he saw them, but he put on a brave face.

"GLOOP BLARDS UUUUUUUGH," he said to them. Which loosely translated means, "Don't be sad, my little ones. Daddy will be home in time for supper."

They knew it was a lie, but they smiled all the same. Their daddy was a hero. He was assigned to an exploratory mission of the DC24, the very machine that had wiped out 60% of their colony with just one pass of its motorized brushbar. The truth was, it was a suicide mission.

Though they didn't know a lot about the DC24, they knew one thing for certain. No dust mite stood a chance against its Root Cyclone technology. The best he could hope for was to get sucked all the way up into it's hygienic dust bin and then emptied out. But the most likely scenario was that he'd get caught in the washable lifetime HEPA filter, from which there would be no escape.

"FLOBBGURGG RAK MLARKOOF," said Lllarf as she clutched her husband's face and gently kissed his forehead. "I should have married a newspaper man."

Bwfrork smiled and nuzzled her nose with his. Then he turned to face his destiny.

The DC24 towered like a skarrp rising from the vlulkdarsm. When he reached the opening of the reversible wand for hard-to-reach places, he looked back over his shoulder for the last time. The entire dust mite colony, what was left of it anyway, had come out to send him off. They were chanting "YLARB FET! YLARB FET! YLARB FET!" in unison.

He had never felt prouder. The DC24 roared to life. And then he was gone.