This is why we can't work ahead
[Editor's note: The following product description, "Nothing Sucks More Than A Dyson!" was written prior to Sunday's game, and is unfortunately no longer valid. We apologize to our dedicated readership, which depends on Woot for reliable, truthful information. Unfortunately, the suckiness of one of the teams in said game exceeded anything we could have predicted. The error is regretted.]
Nothing sucks more than a Dyson! And this DC24 standup vac has 115 airwatts of constant suction power -- so it will suck more than anything you can imagine. Even the suckiest performances in human history don't match the sucking power of a Dyson!
Imagine a sucky professional sports team -- one that fails to accomplish the basic goals of the sport for more than a full half of the game. Will you believe us when we say that this Dyson is even SUCKIER than that? If this Dyson was a sports team, it would … we don't know … give the other team several points on the first play of the game. No team is that sucky!
That's right, we're 100% sure that this Dyson will suck more than anything else this month -- or ever! And if we're wrong, we'll give someone one billion [Editor's note: the rest of the write-up has been edited for content].